Zimbabwean women in the Diaspora – defend yourselves!
We just got this article from Robert Tapfumaneyi who is clearly out of sorts about how the Diaspora has apparently liberated women. Here you go . . .
Women citizens of the adopted country
In the height of political and economic discord in Zimbabwe, from 2000, most Zimbabwean men allowed their women to retrace colonialism, by going to the United Kingdom, in search for greener pastures.
Men were left behind, looking after the kids, while their wives sent money for amenities. Little did husbands know that they had let their wives out of the noose?
The United Kingdom is a developed country, which champions democracy in the empowerment of either sex. Worse still, coming to Diaspora without the company of the usually oppressive gender, meant that they had the chance to experiment with challenges that came along. In fact, it toughened their resolve to be independent forever.
By the time their husbands trooped to join them, things had totally changed. Because of Zimbabwe’s publicity, that is when almost everyone in the Diaspora, especially in UK, took advantage and sought asylum or refugee status.
This also enhanced the women’s standing. For every man who was to follow, he was regarded as a dependant. Dependant in the sense that women were acknowledged as Citizens of that adopted country.
In the event of disagreements, the law would always protect the woman. If the woman felt otherwise, the man could be deported forthwith.
As I write, almost all men who followed their women to the United Kingdom fall under the umbrella of their wives because of VISA requirements.
In other words, it’s now easier for our dear wives to divorce husbands in the UK, than back home. It is because of this trauma that men especially in the UK, are secretly building their empires back home because they are not sure of what tomorrow has for them in Diaspora.
Recently, I went to the garage owned by a Zimbo (lingua for Zimbabweans). There I met guys from Zimbabwe, and whilst we were discussing the political situation back home, the issue of Zimbo women’s independence was brought to the fore.
As much as all men agreed that it was worthwhile to immigrate to UK, we all agreed that we made the worst blunder of letting our wives come earlier to achieve this independence.
The sad reality though is that having experienced the first world life experience, it’s pretty unthinkable that our women consider Zimbabwe as their home.
Don’t be mistaken to hear your wife referring to Zimbabwe as kuAfrica. To be honest, almost all men in the Diaspora are in a catch 22 situation. Of course I agree that the world is a global village, but the question to ask is whose village? Our situation is made worse because we have exposed our kids to this eccentric environment. They no longer regard themselves as part of the culture that we always strived to engrain in them.
Life in diaspora has a plethora of challenges that will leave every man in awe!
Robert Tapfumaneyi
Friday, June 3rd 2011 at 8:30 pm
First of all, in zimbabwean culture, men are the providers and protectors, they are the financial head of the home. this position of responsibility makes them the majority decision maker where finances are concerned. The first mistake is in sending your wife out to go and be the bread winner. If she is making the money and supporting you and your kids then yes she should take priority in making the decisions for (mhuri) the family.
If they can no longer provide and send their wives out into the wild wild west not only do they relinquish that authority they had as men, they emasculate THEMSELVES and have noone to blame other than themselves!
Tuesday, June 7th 2011 at 3:11 pm
I have a few questions for the writer, firstly he mentions that the law in the Diaspora “always protects women” and put this across as a bad thing, does he actually believe that all laws should oppress women? Also he equated women being married to having a noose around their neck, need I say more? He said men in the Diaspora are now “secretly building their empire back home” because their wives can now provide for themselves. Shouldn’t a man be building for the future all the time or does that only happen when he feels his wife is not respecting him?
Just as there are women in the Diaspora who have their husbands deported, there are also men whose wives work hard and bring them here only to have them leave their families for another woman.
I am a single woman living in the Diaspora and I feel I will remain single for a long time because I do not want to marry a person who does to understand or appreciate our culture. That should mean I will be marrying a Zimbabwean man. Unfortunately most of our men have the same mentality as Mr. Tapfumaneyi and do not understand the culture . In Zimbabwe a man is respected as the head of the house and makes final decisions because in is the main provider. In the Diaspora the men do not want to work or they expect you to work as hard as they do, look after the children and still respect a man who is not proving himself a man. What I would suggest to a man whose wife came to the Diaspora first is if you are a hardworking, faithful and trustworthy man then there will be no reason for your wife to deport you. Do not take the parts of Zimbabwean culture that suit you and leave the rest. If you want your wife to have no independence and not have “enhanced standing” like out grandfathers did then you have to be prepared to go out and earn a living while she stays at home and makes house. Unfortunately in the Diaspora you cannot have your cake and eat it. If you want cake you have to go out and work for it.