You’ve got to be kidding
It is now very common to see families functioning without full-time maids. Fewer and fewer people can afford to pay a maid for a month’s work, with the trend now being that a maid comes in once or twice a week to help with the bigger jobs. In addition to this, few mothers (the custodians of the home and family life) can afford not to work, so as to take care of their homes and families. Despite all this, the dishes still need to be done, laundry washed and ironed and houses swept and dusted. So, with mum and dad working, no maid, and young children at crèche and school, who is doing all this work? Who is taking care of the home?
Mum, of course! It’s what mum’s do of course, and they’re so great at it! She is the first to get up, preparing everyone for their day (ironing, cooking breakfast, bathing kids, packing school lunches), and cleaning up after them along the way, before they all, (including Mum), set off for work or school.
After a long hard day in the office (just like dad), mum gets home, and begins her “evening shift” at home. Whatever she has not done in the wee hours of the morning, will be waiting for her, when she gets home. Again, she gets everyone settled in for the night (bathing kids, preparing supper, supervising homework and play). All the while, dad is either out, having a beer or seven, or in front of the TV with the day’s paper.
After supper, mum carries the dirty dishes to kitchen sink and washes them, so that at least she can wake up to a clean kitchen at 5am the next morning. You’d think that once the dishes are done and the kids are in bed, her day is done. Oh no, it is quite the contrary, mum must now go out to washing line and bring in the laundry she did before sunrise that morning, and begin to iron it. Maybe, she’ll set herself up in front of the TV, so she can be entertained while she irons. From time to time, she has to switch off the iron in order to go and check on the sleeping children and refill Dad’s water glass, or get him another beer.
With the ironing Mum can now relax. But not before she has soaked the kids’ uniforms so that they are easier to wash in the morning. Finally, she can rest! But can she really rest, with this nagging feeling in the back of her mind that she has forgotten to do something? “Oh, well, whatever it is, I’ll do it in the morning.” Mum’s off to bed, to join Dad who’s already been there for a while, (he went straight to bed when he got back from socialising at the bar).
Bathed and thoroughly exhausted, she climbs into bed. He turns over and reaches for her. He’s in the mood tonight. He tells her how beautiful she looks. She rolls her eyes. “I look haggard,” she thinks. “Like I’ve worked three jobs today. And in 6 hours and 23 minutes, I have to do it all again. And he picks this moment to be in the mood! He’s got to be kidding!”
I know several women who have days like this most of their lives. They toil at work and home, putting everyone’s needs before their own. How can it be expected that she should cope with this much work in a day, especially when her husband is so tired and needs a break after a day in the office? These grossly unequal work contributions in the home, (especially where there is no hired help), no doubt lead to burnout, resentment and other issues that can lead to the degeneration of relationships.