From the crew at Kalabash:

Now there’s not much rallying left to do so get your gear on and go see what the fuss is about. Make sure you don’t dress too quickly. This is important. If you happen to throw on your Manchester United home kit and wind up at a ZANU rally it may be taken the wrong way and you’ll look like a bull’s eye in a sea of yellow and green. Back slowly out of the arena and go back to your wardrobe. This is a harmless mistake but just so you don’t make it again here’s what not to take to a rally for either of the 2 main parties:

What not to take to a ZANU rally
-Blood-red sneakers or pumps for the ladies
-Red soccer kits: Arsenal, Manchester United, rather go for the Chicken Inn kit, that’s a winner
-You just got your new red G-Shock watch, leave it at home
-Caps: don’t worry you’ll get one there
-On the flipside, if you’re buying a take-away then Chicken Inn packaging might appear to be aligned with the rival party, rather grab a neutral sadza in a Styrofoam container
-Your drink depends on your taste of course but Spa-Letta’s berry flavoured pop might be pushing the boundaries. Grit your teeth and have a sickly sweet but highly patriotic Pine Nut

What not to take to an MDC rally
-Yes you may be a Zimbabwe football fan but sadly today is not about your country, it’s about your party so hang it back in the cupboard
-Housewives/husbands must ensure that they remove their Marigold gloves before leaving the house, this is an easy mistake that would make you look highly suspect
-Even if those flashy yellow earrings really bring out your eyes today don’t risk it, rather hide them behind bright red shades
-Now, as lunchtime approaches and you want an energy boost stay away from those uplifting banana bunches, you’ll look like a party rival with boxing gloves, rather go for an egg and discretely consume the yellow centre
-Finally your drink, luckily for you freezits should be available and at least the indecision you face between red and green doesn’t come into play. Choose red, it’s the right thing to do.

This entry was posted on July 29th, 2013 at 12:27 pm by Bev Clark and is filed under Elections 2013, Zimbabwe Blog, Zimbabwe News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.