I would’ve left the beauty salon laden with anti-wrinkle skin care products had I had the money. It was the exchanged glances between the staff, beauticians I mean. The secretive “wonder when she had her last facial” looks that convinced me I should have them all – the super-duper sub dermal-plumping, collagen-injecting, youth prolonging miracle creams. Beauty in a bottle, a bit like the adverts on TV – if you use this cream you too can look like Sarah-something-Parker AND own her fabulous shoe collection – never mind that you are swarthy and bearded and vertically challenged. We pooh pooh mere genetics. It is everything to do with the skincare range and directly proportionate to the amount of follow-up sessions you book at the salon. Mendel theory, pffft! I added an extra “f” to that – for emphasis you understand, and in case you may have missed it, had the word been any shorter … but I digress.

As it was, I spent an hour and a half being massaged and exfoliated and tweezed. I left looking plumped, not a wrinkle in sight – but I may have been distracted by the blotchy redness of most of my face – and soft and feeling nothing but 2 wings of tautly stretched, agonized skin where the rest of my eyebrows used to be. Comes from reading outdated lifestyle magazines – bushy is back I screamed as they pinned me down!

I’ve been thinking about us (women) and our body image and how we are all unconsciously programmed. As God didn’t see fit to grant me big boobs (I would’ve settled for medium, anything bigger than a button really – everything you see is courtesy of the genius of Wonderbra), I’ve been considering having breast enlargements. Think about it, if your boobs are bigger, no one notices the bulging belly. You’re just generously proportioned. But if you’re flat chested and have a big tummy … well, it’s not great is it?

I have a friend, well not really a friend, more a relative of a relative – ok, I don’t know her at all – but she had a boob job and swears by it, as does her husband (rather clichéd that, but I don’t think he cares). Anyway, I shall continue to think about it. As it requires saving quite a bit of money I don’t think we are in any imminent danger.

The Senate’s adjourned till July. Cool gig hey.

ZimRights yesterday published their daily bulletin evoking the political temperature towards a Zimbabwean ‘Election’.  In their bulletin, ZimRights had this to say: “Recent reports have revealed that ZANU PF said that it is prepared to go for an uncontested election even if other political parties refuse to participate in elections – a repetition of the 2008 June run off.” This concurs with The Herald’s headline of today where President Mugabe speaks on elections and says ‘No to polls delays’.

ZimRights asks: “Is Zimbabwe ready for an election in 2011?’ Have we recovered from the trauma o post 2008 elections?’ “Who can guarantee Zimbabweans a free and fair election?’

Please share this opportunity with your friends.

Finance Assistant (Database Maintenance): ActionAid
Deadline: 1300 hours on 24 May 2011

Location: Harare
Contract Duration: up to December 2011
Expected Start Date: 1st June 2011

ActionAid is an international anti-poverty agency working in over 40 countries, taking sides with poor people to end poverty and injustice together.

Purpose of The Job
The Finance Assistant plays a significant role in capturing financial data and processing of payments to clients in line with AAIZ financial management and accountability guidelines.

Key Strategic Objectives
Capture data within agreed deadlines
Timely reconciliations
Preparation for audits

Principal Accountabilities
Posts transactions & Journals in SUN as and when they occur, and follow up & processing of accountabilities.
Reconcile and monitor staff debtors’ balances.
Maintenance of a sound filing system of all financial documents: Payment vouchers, copies of contracts, correspondence etc
Stamps processed transactions.
Custodian of fuel coupons.
Assist in internal and external audits.
Comes up with quarterly key result areas based on this job description as well as departmental and organizational objectives.

Education
Diploma in accounting

Experience
At least one year experience in the accounting field.

Other requirements and competences
Knowledge of computerized accounting packages, SUN added advantage
Sharp analytical skills
Ability to work under pressure
Ability to work with minimum supervision, but as part of a team

A detailed Job Profile will be made available to short listed candidates.

Applications: To apply submit your curriculum vitae with an application letter to Human Resources, ActionAid International, 16 York Avenue, Newlands, Harare or jobs [dot] Zimbabwe [at] actionaid [dot] org

Although we value all applications, we can only respond to short listed candidates.

NB: Please note that this is a NATIONAL position. Whilst all applicants will be assessed strictly on their individual merits, qualified women are especially encouraged to apply.

In an email chillingly entitled It Has Started, a Zimbabwean living in rural Chipinge shared with Kubatana this news:

It has started all over again in the rural areas of Chipinge. You can see some youth running and singing chimurenga songs and you can easily tell that the war is about to begin all over again. We want journalists here in Chipinge. People are being killed without any recognition. We have never had our President Tsvangirai coming to adress people, yet Chipinge is one of the few places with more than 80% real change suporters. Can you be our mouth to our honourable PM.

We forwarded this email to the MDC.

Recently Christopher Hitchens writing on the revolution in Egypt in Vanity Fair suggested that “Egypt is not a country that has an army, but an army that has a country.”

Sounds similar to Zimbabwe especially when we see headlines like Zimbabwe military chiefs plot to take power.