‘Where in the world would you not want to work as a comedian?’ ‘Zimbabwe, North Korea and Pakistan, all dictator countries.’ – Ugandan comedian David Kibuka.

A few weeks ago, I found a leaking water pipe where I stay. I phoned a plumber, who came to look that very day, who reported that unfortunately the leak was below the meter – Which meant as a private plumber they weren’t allowed to do the work on the leak – I had to get in touch with City of Harare, as the leak was on their system.

The good news, I suppose, is that at least that meant there was a trickle of municipal water flowing through the system. The bad news was that I needed City of Harare to do the work.

After three weeks of phoning them several times each week, the City finally sent a crew round to take a look. They closed off the connection to the city water service, dug up the problematic pipe, and found it so corroded it practically crumbled when they lifted it out of the ground. But, they said, they couldn’t do anything more – They don’t have the material. So they left.

I phoned them again this morning to find out what to do now. We don’t have the material, I was told, but if you want us to do the work “chop chop” you can buy what we need and we can come do the work. If I have to buy the material myself, I asked, can I not just hire a private plumber to come and do the work? Nope – The problem is below the meter. So, I ask, I’m no plumber. How do I know what I need to get? We can come today to take another look and give you a list of supplies you can buy.

So, it takes three weeks for the City to come and address the problem in the first place. But coming to take a look to come up with a shopping list for a hostage resident is a same-day service.

Oh, and, it was very clear on the phone – They won’t pay me back for whatever I get.

Unfortunately, in a spirit of civic mindedness, I have been faithfully paying my council bills since 2009, so I won’t benefit from the write off of debts to the City. And, in all this time, my bill paying has resulted in sporadic rubbish collection, occasional patching of potholes (which doesn’t come anywhere close to addressing the dire state of our roads), street lights which don’t function, and a municipal water supply conspicuous by its absence. To add insult to injury, even as a rate payer, I don’t benefit from any investment in the city’s infrastructure – I have to buy my own material to ensure that the City will do work I am not allowed to contract a private plumber to do. Tell me again, what’s the incentive to continue to pay?

Zimbabwe’s Prime Minister, Movement for Democratic Change President Morgan Tsvangirai has filed an election petition with the Constitutional Court. In it, he lists “numerous corrupt and illegal practices and other electoral malpractices and irregularities.” Tsvangirai argues that Zimbabwe’s 31 July election is void, and asks that it be set aside.

Tsvangirai’s election petition speaks of bribery, media bias, misuse of voter registration slips, turning away of voters at polling stations, problems with the use of assisted voting, and other irregularities. You can read the document submitted to the Constitutional Court here.

The case is set to be heard at the Constitutional Court tomorrow (Saturday) at 2pm.

However, regardless of the number of irregularities, or the strength of his case, the presidential election petition seems unlikely to change much in Zimbabwe. The Constitutional Court which will hear it is the Court of judges, appointed by President Mugabe, who created Zimbabwe’s 31 July farce election in their first Constitutional Court judgement of 31 May.

As one Kubatana supporter put it: “Tsvangirai should go for Plan B because going to court will change nothing. He will never win this battle against Mugabe.”

Update: In an affidavit submitted to the Constitutional Court the afternoon of Friday, 16 August, Tsvangirai said “it is with deep regret and sadness” that he was withdrawing the Presidential Election Petition. You can read Tsvangirai’s affidavit withdrawing the election petition to Zimbabwe’s Constitutional Court here.

Fixing things, flipping channels for some entertainment and in-between visits to relatives made my long holiday worthwhile. I caught a breath of fresh air and had some time to get rid of the election hang over.  For past six days I tried to keep myself busy so that I can stay away from newspapers and news channels. Besides the election controversy in Zimbabwe, Egypt burning and the States chasing after Snowden seems like too much to consume in eight months. Summer is now unpredictable these days so I had to spend my time fixing my roof and painting doors, walls and even the gate. I ended up even trying my hand at fixing electrical appliances.

My neighbors were even amused when they saw me on the roof and one of them asked if everything was okay? Knowing where I work the old man living next door came to my place asking me if the new government has also rendered me jobless. This is one old man I sometimes chill with and discuss politics with though his only source of information is state news channels and to him independent news sources are imperialist mouthpieces bent on taking us back to the colonial era. He openly speaks of his allegiance to ZANU-PF and being a staunch supporter of President Robert Mugabe. Sometime back he said to me that NGOs should be banned because they are here to remove the government and cause chaos in the country. When the election results were announced he went on a drinking spree. He later shared his happiness saying the country is now back to the rightful owners and everything will be free starting from debt cancellation by the council. He even castigated Tsvangirai wasting taxpayer’s money by going to court to seek nullification of election results. I tried to remind him that he should just enjoy the remittances he is getting from his two sons working in South Africa and leave Tsvangirai alone. He seemed to foresee an increment in his pension along with pay increments for civil servants promised by the President in his speech during Heroes Day commemorations.

This was hell of a long political lecture taking place on a rooftop and to make it even worse we had to wait for electricity from ZESA so the we could continue to drill and punch some holes before I could escape from this election trap.

Jonathan Fields

“The words that reverberate for us at the confines of this long adventure of rebellion are not formulas for optimism, for which we have no possible use in the extremities of our unhappiness, but words of courage and intelligence which, on the shores of the eternal seas, even have the qualities of virtue.” – Albert Camus, The Rebel (1951)