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Farewell Zimbabwe

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We got this amusing letter in from a subscriber today. Maybe that’s what’s taking so long – Bob is still busy finalising his farewell speech.

Dear All

I am happy I finally got the words, courage and guts to write this note. It has been a great pleasure ruling Zimbabwe for the past 28 years uninterrupted, though I must admit that my new country and home is more comfortable than your old State House where Tongogara and Chitepo’s ghosts kept knocking the sense out of my head. Zvidhoma zvine nharo izvozvo! Bvunzai Grace!

I would like to thank all those who supported me during and after all those painful years, the Liberation War, the Matabeleland Chaos, the Land Reform, the Referendum, Murambatsvina and lately the Price Slashing. It almost turned nasty. I could have written more but I have reserved it for my new book, I hope I will release it before my next birthday. Please keep in touch and pray that this silly MDC doesn’t donate the country to Gordon Brown, and that 2008 be a great year for every Zimbabwean where ever they may be hibernating. I hear you have decided to prosecute Gideon Gono for all that he did to you. I didn’t know that guy was so afraid of me until I gave him a job at the central bank. He was also so fond of a certain Printer that I had to order another one for his new home in Borrowdale.

I don’t want to say much about the Politburo, but 1 thing for sure I miss you guys, except this gentleman who used to brag about Harvard University. He was so naughty! It’s always good to have a bunch of old men who can’t say “NO!”. The kids are fine but Grace is increasingly becoming rude. I will ask Kunonga to pray for her!

Till we meet again, may God bless you all.

Regards

Robert Mugabe

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