Diamonds are a Chef’s Best Friend
Diamonds are a Chef’s Best Friend
(With apologies to Marilyn Monroe)
The poor are glad to share their food,
They love to sing and dance;
But I prefer a man who’s good
For an interest-free advance.
A shake of the hand
May be quite sentimental
But diamonds are a Chef’s best friend.
A view may be grand
But it doesn’t squeeze the rental
From the sick and lame,
And sanctions – sanctions are to blame.
Comrades cry,
Comrades die -
There is nothing for them in the end;
But these rocks infernal
Will give me life eternal;
Diamonds are a Chef’s best friend.
Marange!
Chiadzwa!
Chimanimani!
Kimberly Process!
Talk to me, Cecil John Rhodes -
Tell me about your lodes.
There may come a time
When a dude needs to borrow,
But diamonds are a Chef’s best friend.
There may come a time which some fools call ‘tomorrow’,
Try to stop the clock…
But get those rocks or lose your socks.
Fools will fly
When stocks are high,
With nowhere to go when stocks are low.
It’s then that they panic
And become quite manic;
Diamonds are a Chef’s best friend.
I’ve heard of teachers
Who come out on their wages,
But diamonds are a Chef’s best friend;
And I think that preachers
Who enrich themselves by stages
Are better bets
If they let it get bigger yet.
Time goes by,
The people cry
All the same – sanctions are to blame.
Diamonds! Diamonds!
Pear cut or square cut -
Diamonds are a Chef’s best friend.