Zimbabwean activist Rejoice Ngwenya has just published a new article . . .

Who would have thought that at this landmark stage in my life, this only year I will turn 50, I would once again read the Daily News, The Mail, The Daily Gazette, The Worker newspapers? Is it not your eternal sense of generosity that finally manifests itself in the multiplicity of print media? Those who pour scorn on your act of magnanimity know little of your history. Allow me therefore to pay homage by chronicling your unprecedented and amazing acts of benevolence for the benefit of perpetually ungrateful sceptics!

Your highness, Supreme leader for life, Head of this and Commander-in-Chief of that, may I remind the unholy cabal of reactionary sceptics that it is by your self-sacrifice that our country ever tested real democracy! Growing up as a young man from the rural areas, I would visit city relatives and see public toilets written ‘whites only’. Now as a grown man in Harare, I visit commercial farms and see plaques written ‘blacks only’. You are truly a great man!

In the 1980’s, you acted like a real mature father by disciplining a small clique of unruly dissidents in Matebeleland who were destabilising your flourishing socialist country. Although there were minor incidents where twenty thousand civilians lost their lives in what Americans would term ‘collateral damage’, your acts of courage resulted in the dignified submission to your authority of one Joshua Nkomo, hence the peace and tranquillity that prevails since then.

Your highness, Supreme leader for life, Head of this and Commander-in-Chief of that, in 1990, you inspired, through your fatherly grip of Parliament, the removal of the clause that ring-fenced the political and property rights of residual Rhodesian elements. This was the beginning in the long journey of Zimbabweans being in charge of their destiny. As you always say, Zimbabwe for Zimbabweans, Britain for British and America for Americans. If I may add, Your highness, Supreme leader for life, Head of this and Commander-in-Chief of that, Mercedes Benz cars for the Germans. We would rather use scotch cart presidential convoys as a true reflection of our endangered tradition than being sucked into the material gluttony of the misguided European Union!

In the 1990s, you continued to protect us from the vagaries of Western intimidation by again inspiring Parliament to retain the state of emergency. Like any father, children must be protected from unknown adversaries. You acted in our best interest, because you knew then as you still do now what is good for us. The West has brought civilisation, but at high cost: pollution, national debt, homosexuality and reckless media that attempts to seek truth through invasion of privacy!

Your highness, Supreme leader for life, Head of this and Commander-in-Chief of that, I should dwell a bit on the issue of invasion just to show your immortal benevolence. When distant neighbour Laurent Kabila was under threat of invasion by combined Ugandan and Rwandese forces in the guise of ‘rebels’, you single-handled repelled the military misfits into the jungles. Your detractors came out guns blazing alleging that your soldiers were looting diamonds using national resources at a whopping one million United States dollars per day! What hogwash! Whoever heard of a ‘cheap’ war? I’m glad to mention that your act of courage has resulted in strong bilateral ties with the Democratic Republic of Congo, and our experience of guarding diamond mines is now paying off handsomely at our very own alluvial Chiyadzwa Diamond Mines. Those detractors who claim the country is not benefiting from Chiyadzwa cannot explain how Your highness, Supreme leader for life, Head of this and Commander-in-Chief of that, you can afford to attend most international conferences and African presidential inaugurations with one hundred of your staff without a single cent from the immature MD-something party minister of finance!

Another act of invasion is the gutter press. Your highness, Supreme leader for life, Head of this and Commander-in-Chief of that, at one time you had to use your good judgement to discipline journalists and newspapers that falsely claimed you paid Lobola for someone or your committed party members beheaded a villager. After having forgiven them, they abused your immortal benevolence until you requested your able minister for information to legally shut all of them down. Those British and American journalists who insisted on reporting half-truths about human rights were politely requested to leave. All humans, especially Zimbabwean ones, have rights, so why would anyone keep talking about it?

Your highness, Supreme leader for life, Head of this and Commander-in-Chief of that, in the late 1990s, your good acts of generosity were again on public display when fifty thousand destitute freedom fighters were empowered by your personal gifts of money. The ugly face of detraction again reared its head by false allegation of favouritism, plunder, corruption and abuse of state funds. How a father can give his children money but be accused of all this beats my mind! There are some white good-for-nothing bushconomists who claim that was the beginning in the collapse of our economy. How untrue? Do they want to ignore the negative effects of racist Bretton Woods institutions whose force-fed liberalisation prescription laid the foundation for Zimbabwe’s economic demise? Your highness, Supreme leader for life, Head of this and Commander-in-Chief of that, you acquired your knowledge from the candle light of prison cells while these motor-mouths revelled in the bright lights of Harvard, Cambridge, Oxford and Rhodes, but they keep being overpowered by their ignorance of basic economics principles!

Your highness, Supreme leader for life, Head of this and Commander-in-Chief of that, I would like to conclude by thanking you for giving us land. All acts of generosity will be immortalised in the anus, I mean annals of Zimbabwe’s history. It is not your fault that beneficiaries are abandoning the land to lie fallow. Now am even more excited that you are planning to give us mines and industry. These belong to us and so as we wait for the newspapers that will start operating due to your immortal benevolence, Your highness, Supreme leader for life, Head of this and Commander-in-Chief of that, I hope that they will desist from gutter, yellow journalism that fails to appreciate your good deeds. If I have inadvertently insulted you by singing  these praises due only to Your highness, Supreme leader for life, Head of this and Commander-in-Chief of that, I your humble servant, submit myself to the punishment that befits my transgression.

This entry was posted on June 2nd, 2010 at 11:03 am by Bev Clark and is filed under Media, Reflections, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.