The latest installment of the not-so-funny comedy of errors plaguing Zimbabwe’s 31 July harmonised election. How’s this for outrageous? Read the press statement from RAU about the launch of their voters’ roll audit report being banned.

The Research and Advocacy Unit (RAU) intended to launch a detailed analysis of the Voters’ Roll this morning. This detailed audit comes in the wake of a preliminary report that RAU released on the 5th of July 2013.

RAU has had to cancel the launch of this report however because the Registrar General at 8.17a.m  left  an interdict at our offices from the High Court  to stop the event from going ahead at the Crowne Plaza the chosen venue, who were cited as the second Respondents and were served at 8.30am.

The Registrar General’s interdict is based on a misconception that we wanted to launch the voters roll, relying on an erroneous article by NEWSDAY published on the 16th of July 2013 which stated that RAU intended to launch a full voters’ roll. Instead of proceeding by way of an application interdicting us from launching our report, it would have taken a simple phone call from the Registrar General’s office to confirm that what we intended to launch was a report based on the Roll and not the Roll itself.

RAU wishes to clarify that it never intended to a launch a voters’ roll. RAU was going to launch an analysis done on the voters roll. In addition to the above, the Chairperson of ZEC and the Zimbabwe Electoral Commission are aware that RAU has been working on such an audit and ZEC had received and acknowledged receipt of the preliminary report.

RAU is deeply concerned with the fact that the order for an interdict was granted and the application was admitted and decided yet the Certificate of Urgency, which makes part of the Application was not signed as is required by law.

RAU also finds unprocedural and an abuse of the justice system and court process the fact that we were not served with the application when it was filed with the High Court and that we only received it at the same time as the Order for an Interdict was delivered to RAU.

I found a Zanu PF leaflet on Arcturus Road in in Harare East yesterday. I think it’s meant to be a serious political document but there are several Ha Ha moments worth sharing:

Apparently Zanu PF
a) has given us economic empowerment
b) youth empowerment
c) provided education for all
d) provided health for all
e) they’ve uplifted the position of a woman
f) are peace loving

Zanu PF will also never accept homosexuality.

They will also never accept something called beastialily (I think that’s a Polynesian cocktail).

Speaking of drinking, apparently Cde RG has taught us that clinging to generational unforgiveness is as foolish as drinking poison and waiting on someone else to die.

And, why should you vote for him? Well, he’s a job creator (apparently), we Zimbabweans enjoy human rights without disturbance, and Zanu PF guarantees economic prosperity.

Who writes this crap?

Increasingly, Zimbabwe’s political pulse is palpable everywhere, with one soldier the other day saying rather cynically, “do you have to wear a T-shirt to show which party you support? I know who I will vote for.”

And then he joined other colleagues in lamenting the state of the nation.

It was obvious what he was talking about.

Yet one continues to hear uncorroborated claims that the security forces are fully behind the revolutionary party.

Could be true, but then “security forces” is too broad.

What we however know for certain is that it is the vultures who have stripped the land of its wealth, who have built mansions, who have enjoyed overseas trips while privates (sic) and corporals who know damn well they will never be homeowners, have become the laughing stock of an equally impoverished population.

Never mind that back in the 1980s being a soldier was envied as a well-salaried career of choice.

I recall as young boys back in the day envying the local older lads who had joined the military and from whom we came to know “tinned beef,” a type of food that was enough to convince young minds that being a soldier was “the life!”

You see, these soldiers always brought home tinned beef “from work” and it seemed so exciting that you could carry a gun in hand and tinned beef in the other, talk about romanticizing the army life!

I sniggered the other day when a colleague’s four year old daughter was reciting stuff she had learnt at kindergarten and when she arrived at the “when I grow up” part said with the innocence of a child: “when I grow up I want to be a soldier.”

I recalled how young men from Matebeleland have shunned recruitment to the barracks over the years, with impassioned pleas from Zanu PF political leaders in the region for the young Matebeles to join in the fight to protect the country’s sovereignty. These please have fallen on deaf ears!

Thus it is that the special vote count will be eagerly watched, and it would be interesting that the rioting cops were actually determined to keep the status quo!

For years, Zimbabweans have been subjected to a TV monopoly by the state. Mention ZTV, the Zimbabwe Broadcasting Corporation’s television station, and you’re likely to be met with eye rolling, comments like “DeadBC” and even a spoof Twitter account.

Ever since the signal blackout from SABC, things have gotten even worse for Zimbabweans who used to rely on free-to-air decoders to get South African public television.

Lenard Kamwendo was just complaining about the lack of alternative television in Zimbabwe yesterday. And last week, a number of our SMS subscribers were sharing their frustrations with ZBC and wishing there were independent television stations in Zimbabwe.

Enter 1st TV, “Zimbabwe’s first independent television station.” Set to launch at 6pm on Friday 19 July, and available via the Wiztech Free to Air satellite platform, 1st TV will “provide impartial, factual news to the people of Zimbabwe as well as broadcasting popular films, soap operas and comedies.”

According to a press statement issued today, 1st TV “means that Zimbabweans will now have a station that not only broadcasts to them but also will serve as a platform for all people to express their views and to share information about what is happening in their areas and in their lives.”

In addition to being available via satellite, 1st TV says that it will also “have a strong presence on social media which will allow Zimbabweans themselves to influence and guide the growth and direction of the channel in terms of both news and entertainment.”

To find out more, read their full press statement, and follow them on Twitter.