Merit Rumema ponders what really makes a father in this moving piece:

I had a wonderful father when growing up, in fact, he was the first man I fell in love with and I realize I have been looking for a part of him in every man who shows an interest in me, and sadly I cannot find another Onesimo Luckson Rumema. He was indeed one of a kind.

Over the years I have seen father who dote on their little girls and have appreciated the term, “Daddies little girl” but the older I grow, the more I see and hear, the more I have questioned the meaning of the word father. As an Information Officer for Zimbabwe Women Lawyers Association (ZWLA), I have seen countless women walk through our doors, seeking help so that an errant father can pay maintenance for his children’s upkeep. I have heard of fathers denying paternity, and other pretending they earn very little so as to avoid the responsibility of taking care of their children.

What has driven me to write this article and question what it is really that makes one a father is the case that is now in the supreme Court, of a 22 year old female student at the National University of Science and Technology (NUST), whose father is refusing to pay fees, arguing that she is no longer a minor and therefore not his responsibility. He further states that when he divorced the mother, he only agreed to maintain one child who is still a minor. What then really boggles my mind is the fact that he can afford to take the case back and forth in court and pay lawyers in private practice. I do not know this man’s income, but to me, if he can afford lawyers, he can afford to pay school fees.

Out of curiosity, I posed a question on the ZWLA website and on the organisation´s Face book page, just to find out from people what they thought about this particular case and got really interesting responses. All of the participants in the poll agreed that a parent should pay school fees regardless of the child’s age as long as it is a first degree, as this has become a necessity and no longer a luxury. A young man shared how he went through a similar situation with his father who had sour grapes with his mother and to fix the mother, refused to pay fees.

Still, my question was not answered. Who or what really is a father. Is it someone who merely through an act of nature makes a woman pregnant and shares some DNA with the child, or is that man who is there for the child, looks after them, teaches them to ride a bike, helps with the homework and plays peek-a-boo? I then thought of my own little girl, who has never seen her biological father but still loves him, who has never had the pleasure of pulling his beard. It got me thinking, when she gets married in 20 years time, who will claim lobola and for what reasons? I know in my culture, when the groom pays lobola, there is something called matekenya ndebvu (beard tickling) and I have seen little girls do that in fascination to their father. But my angel never did that, well at least not to her “father”. Will he have the right to claim the lobola, or should the stepfather claim it? After all, he was there more than her “father” was, and is helping shape and mould her into a woman of integrity.

Back to the case that prompted me to write this article, seeking learned opinions, does the problem lie within the legal framework or the cultural ideologies? Currently, the law defines a minor as anyone below the age of 18, and I remember at 18 I was in Lower Six and still in boarding school. Was my father supposed to stop paying school fees for me then because I was a major? I am not a lawyer but surely there is a serious error under the sun? So all those “fathers” who have been compelled by the law to be responsible towards their children will stop when the children turn 18, regardless of whether they are still in school or not, self sufficient or not? Is that when one stops being a father? I am almost 30 years old now, but everyday, I miss my late father and am confident if he were alive today I would still be his little girl. He may not have been able to solve every problem but he would have stood by me.

So please tell me, what defines a father, is it a blood issue, a responsibility issue or a relationship issue?

Calling All Young Women in Southern African to 3 Days of Empowerment and Celebration!

The Open Society Initiative for Southern Africa (OSISA) and the African Women Millennium Initiative Zambia (AWOMIZ), in collaboration with young women’s networks and formations in Southern Africa, are hosting a Southern African Young Women’s Festival (SAYWF) in Lusaka, Zambia from 17 to 21 October 2011.

The Festival, organised under the theme “My Rights, My Freedom, My Responsibilities” is designed to provide spacefor young women between 18 and 30 years of age, to come together and share experiences, share strategies and energise each other and celebrate their youth and the potential they have to advocate for social justice in their respective communities.

Find out more and download the application form here

I would’ve left the beauty salon laden with anti-wrinkle skin care products had I had the money. It was the exchanged glances between the staff, beauticians I mean. The secretive “wonder when she had her last facial” looks that convinced me I should have them all – the super-duper sub dermal-plumping, collagen-injecting, youth prolonging miracle creams. Beauty in a bottle, a bit like the adverts on TV – if you use this cream you too can look like Sarah-something-Parker AND own her fabulous shoe collection – never mind that you are swarthy and bearded and vertically challenged. We pooh pooh mere genetics. It is everything to do with the skincare range and directly proportionate to the amount of follow-up sessions you book at the salon. Mendel theory, pffft! I added an extra “f” to that – for emphasis you understand, and in case you may have missed it, had the word been any shorter … but I digress.

As it was, I spent an hour and a half being massaged and exfoliated and tweezed. I left looking plumped, not a wrinkle in sight – but I may have been distracted by the blotchy redness of most of my face – and soft and feeling nothing but 2 wings of tautly stretched, agonized skin where the rest of my eyebrows used to be. Comes from reading outdated lifestyle magazines – bushy is back I screamed as they pinned me down!

I’ve been thinking about us (women) and our body image and how we are all unconsciously programmed. As God didn’t see fit to grant me big boobs (I would’ve settled for medium, anything bigger than a button really – everything you see is courtesy of the genius of Wonderbra), I’ve been considering having breast enlargements. Think about it, if your boobs are bigger, no one notices the bulging belly. You’re just generously proportioned. But if you’re flat chested and have a big tummy … well, it’s not great is it?

I have a friend, well not really a friend, more a relative of a relative – ok, I don’t know her at all – but she had a boob job and swears by it, as does her husband (rather clichéd that, but I don’t think he cares). Anyway, I shall continue to think about it. As it requires saving quite a bit of money I don’t think we are in any imminent danger.

Isabella Matambanadzo recently shared with Kubatana a very moving tribute to Susan Zvinoira, the energy behind Zimbabwe Widows Orphan Trust.

Laughter through her tears: A Tribute to Susan Zvinoira
By Isabella Matambanadzo

Although Susan Zvinoira dedicated both her heart and home to sharing what she had, and what she knew, with others like her; disposed black African widows in Zimbabwe and beyond, you will not find her name among those of the world’s greatest philanthropists of the 21st century. In fact, in spite of all the volunteerism through giving, caring and sharing that black African women do on the continent, they do not make the grade when it comes to official recognition related to selfless service to community and society.

For nearly two decades, Susan’s home at number 114 Eastern Road in Greendale served as the only place country wide for widows to lay down their very heavy burdens. “Sometimes the widows come here with just the clothing on their backs,” she once said, speaking of her work. “We do not have much”, “We sleep on the floor in the lounge and in winter we boil water and make hot water bottles from old plastic bottles to keep warm,” with a mischievous glimmer of pride that was her hallmark.

A woman of immeasurable sensibility and bountiful love, Susan put to good use every scrap of energy she had in both her spirit and soul. “We have a garden and that is where we grow our food. Our home is rich, not with money but with bees. So we have set up a honey-making project. We process and package honey and sell it by the bottle. That is one of the ways we make our income. We are now starting to get orders from supermarket chains and that is really helpful. We then use the by-products to make candles, which we also sell. Our garden is also a source of income. We grow and sell vegetables. Our soil is rich but we need more space to grow more food so that we can make a real profit. At the moment we have enough to fill our stomachs. Water is also a problem. We are trying to think of ways to sink a borehole”.

Her motivation and culture of sisterly support was perhaps borne out of the need she saw around her as it was her personal experience: “I take in other women who like me are widows”, she once explained. “The widows have absolutely nothing. They are bereaved, their property has been grabbed by the in-laws, sometimes even by their sons. Their morale is low and they have no resources so they cannot get legal support. Lawyers are very expensive”.

Just how deep her fabulous reservoir of positivity ran, can only be truly understood by seeking out and listening to those she worked with and for. At her graveside at Greendale cemetery this April, widow after widow spoke glowingly of her love, her affection and her refusal to give in to wretchedness and adversity. Their eulogies paid tribute to a woman who never turned any widow, and if she had them, her children away. Even when it was impossible to imagine just how many more women could squeeze into the lounge, she found a way.

“I hope that one day we can build a proper shelter and have the full facilities that we need so that the widows can live a little more comfortably”, she said considering always how to turn a negative experience into a pleasant one.

As we pay modest tribute to a true Sheroine of our times, we are starkly reminded of the just how much women’s oppression and inequality persist in Zimbabwean society, even in the face of legislative and policy progress.

Her own words, spoken back in 2004, offered then, as they do today a crystal clear analysis of the root causes of women’s subjugation: “The problems that widows face in Zimbabwe stem from our practice of dowry, the paying of cows or money to the bride’s family. This leaves a woman in this country with a feeling that she is the husband’s property. When the husband dies the family, because they may have contributed in one way or another to the dowry directly or to the education of the man, will feel they own her so they want to take her over as a wife. They take her as an asset. This is because of Zimbabwe’s multiple marriage laws and practice. You will find that a husband has a civil marriage with one woman, and a customary one with another, he may even have children with a girlfriend. When he dies, all these women are left in a web that becomes an inheritance dispute, especially with the family of the deceased. In Zimbabwe today many widows do not have the right to withdraw money from the account of their deceased husband. Some widows do not know where he was saving the money. You can starve in your home with a cheque book in your hands”.

Known to many through the respectful and endearing title of Amai Zvinoira, Susan didn’t wear the dejection of the bad cards life had dealt her with heaviness. She always put her very best foot, even if dressed in shoes worn down from daily walks to the high court, forward, and kept alive the promise of a better day. “I am not a lawyer. I was exposed to the law by sitting in the courtroom and listening, reading about it and I really learned on the job”. Never one to be daunted by bureaucracy, she approached The Master of the High Court for support. “Mr Nyatanga has been very helpful. He has said that we are able to get assistance when we go to the courts. Every Tuesday and Thursday we receive a welcoming reception. We have even started to call them ‘widows days’. I am not sure what we would have done without his understanding and assistance”. And there again was another admirable trait that Susan had, she always recognized the remarkable support of those people who made the lives of widows and orphans a little easier.

ZWOT’s realization of the impact of HIV and AIDS on the lives on widows resulted in the growth of the organization, beyond Susan’s initial vision. “The effects of HIV and AIDS on the lives of widows are enormous. We do not test the women who come here. We provide a supportive environment for them to make a choice about whether they want to be tested or not. We managed to negotiate for HIV positive women to join support groups and programmes that are providing women with treatment. We want women to be as healthy and as strong as is possible”.

At a conference organized by the United Nations Food and Agricultural Programme (UNFAO) and supported by the sister agency UNIFEM, the United Nations Women’s Fund, among other key civil society and government departments in Zimbabwe on the importance of securing tenure of property for women in their own names in 2004, she told some of her life’s story and the founding of her institution. “We were five friends and we were talking about widowhood, how life had changed. I was also a widow who was stressed up. I used to pray. I would cry myself to sleep because of grief. One day when I was sleeping I dreamt of a group of women all dressed in white and they were sobbing because of the pain of widowhood. A voice said, “You can help, you will be trained, you will be provided”.

It was a voice that she said she avoided for many years. A veritable entrepreneur, she had set up a no nonsense hardware store to ensure she had a purse of her own. “I kept dodging that issue. I really didn’t want anything else. But this voice kept bothering me and here we are today.” A perpetual optimist, Susan and the members of Zimbabwe Widows and Orphans Trust, ZWOT insisted that the conference host a fashion show where the widows would be models. They made light of their hard experiences, modeling to the song Neria by award winning Zimbabwean musician Oliver Mutukudzi.

“Complicated problems arise out of death. Widows often come to us looking for legal assistance, mostly to get their property back. We start by getting as much information as we can from the widow about her marriage, how she was married be it through civil law or customary law, and so on. In some cases the widows do not have any official marriage certificates and we have to go to the government offices to look for records,” Susan explained.

“Sometimes we are lucky and find records, in other cases we have to look for witnesses who were there when the customary marriage took place. But in the worst cases we even have to try and secure birth and identity documents for the widow and assist her in getting a death certificate for her deceased husband where she does not have one. Once we have the information that we require, we then determine which route is best to follow. Negotiations with the family are sometimes successful. But where they fail to reach an agreement, matters can end up with the police or in court”, she said.

It was Susan Zvinoira’s dream to build a special shelter in Zimbabwe for dispossessed widows. ” This shelter would be somewhere where they are at peace and do not have the stress of being destitute. I am not sure how we can get donations of clothing so that they have at least a change of dress. Especially for the days we have to go to court”.

Faced daily with the injustices of sexist practices that make Zimbabwe a society in which many women are denied their rights in both the public and private spheres of their lives, you would think Susan would give up. A stalwart to the very end, she saw the importance of women having a purse of their own. “Above all we teach women to get back onto their feet and start looking for opportunities to make an independent income and manage their resources. Most of the women here were used to being looked after. They were not breadwinners, so this is a new direction for them, counting their own money and planning their own business ventures”.

Susan she lived her hard days by hope and positivity. “Life was bleak but now we have gone from tears to laughter. I can say I have thousands of grandchildren. We even had a baby born here in our living room. I have many thousands of daughters. Widows are suffering in Zimbabwe. I look forward to a day when the people of Zimbabwe will then begin to respect their widows”.

Essay competition: Why the Protocol on the Rights of Women in Africa is important to youth
Deadline: 12 Noon GMT on 25 May 2011

In October 2010, the African Women’s Decade (2010-2020) was officially launched in Nairobi, Kenya. The decade is a critical moment for the advancement of women’s rights and gender equality on the continent. The Solidarity for African Women’s Rights coalition (SOAWR), a coalition of 37 organizations based throughout the continent, is committed to ensuring that African Union (AU) member states ratify and implement the Protocol to the African Charter on Human and Peoples’ Rights on the Rights of Women in Africa as an instrument that will play an important role in the realization of the Decade’s objectives. Yet, unfortunately, not all Africans are aware of the Protocol and its significance.

In Malabo, Equatorial Guinea, this June, African heads of state and government will gather at a summit with the theme, “Youth empowerment for sustainable development”. Youth action is critical to the continent’s development, and more specifically, in ensuring that girls and women can make equally valued contributions to this development. As such, the SOAWR coalition would like to invite youth to reflect on the importance of the Protocol on the Rights of Women in Africa. Contestants are asked to respond to the question, “Why is the Protocol on the Rights of Women in Africa important to you?” in an essay of a maximum of 2000 words.

The four best essays will receive a copy of African Women Writing Resistance: An Anthology of Contemporary Voices edited by Jennifer Browdy de Hernandez, Pauline Dongala, Omotayo Jolaosho, and Anne Serafin. The winning essays will also be published on the Pambazuka News website (www.pambazuka.org). In addition, the writer of the essay awarded first place will be given the opportunity to attend the AU Summit in Malabo with her or his basic expenses (ticket, accommodation, etc.) covered.

The competition is open to citizens of all African countries aged between 18 and 25.

Entries can be submitted in English or French. The deadline for submission is May 25th, 2011, at 12 noon, GMT. Essays should be typed (1.5 line spacing and 12 point font) and sent in Word or PDF format to the SOAWR Secretariat through bkombo [at] equalitynow [dot] org with the subject “SOAWR Essay Competition”. Along with the essays, contestants should indicate the email address where they can be reached and provide their age, nationality and country of residence.

Source: Pambazuka

The Women’s Programme of the Research and Advocacy Unit recently produced a report on politically motivated Rape in Zimbabwe. In the report Zimbabwe is described as undergoing a ‘complex emergency’ that is a social catastrophe marked by the destruction of the affected populations political, economic, socio-cultural and healthcare infrastructure. It notes with concern the increasing use of rape in war and complex emergencies. Despite several United Nations resolutions being passed since 2000, only a small number of perpetrators of sexual violence against women have been convicted and jailed by international criminal tribunals for committing or commanding widespread sexual violence as a war crime.

The report notes that:

The phenomenon of violations against women is not a new thing in Zimbabwean politics; it has been reported in the majority of human rights reports produced both locally and internationally since 2000 when the political landscape changed with the formation of the Movement for Democratic Change (MDC) posing a serious threat to the Zimbabwe African National Union-Patriotic Front (ZANU PF)s power-base in the June 2000 parliamentary elections. Before 2000 there were reports of rape particularly during the Liberation War and the Matabeleland massacres of the 1980s.

This report draws on several other reports by organisations such as the Zimbabwe Human Rights Forum, The Zimbabwe Peace Project, and Amani Trust, and points out the difficulty of inferring the national prevalence of politically motivated rape.

RAU conducted its most recent research study in 2010 in collaboration with Zimbabwe Doctors for Human Rights, using 27 sworn legal affidavits and medical examinations of women who were raped because of their political activity or the political activity of their husbands. Rapes were reported as occurring in 2001, 2002, 2003 and 2008. While the highest prevalence of 89% was in 2008, the report states that there is no suggestion that rape was actually more common in 2008 than in any other year. The report states that the sexual assaults reported were extremely distressing, with horrific accounts of gang rape.

The RAU/ ZDHR study included the following recommendations:

A multi-sectoral investigation into politically motivated rape, led by the Ministry of Health and Child Welfare, together with the Ministry of Women Affairs, Gender and Community Development, Ministry of Labour and Social Welfare, the Ministry of Home Affairs, and the Ministry of Justice and Legal Affairs, should be undertaken on a large scale countrywide;

In light of the fact that elections are likely to be held in 2011, the government of Zimbabwe should ensure that women are protected from politically motivated rape, before, during, and after the election period.