I’ve just spent a week in Las Vegas. Not my first choice of destination but an award ceremony took me there. As a Zimbabwean I got a variety of comments, like:

- Zimbabwe? You don’t live there do you?

- What’s in your bag – all your money?

- Ag shame man, how do you cope?

When I checked into my hotel I was charmed by the young receptionist who looked at my passport, and then at me, and exclaimed:

No Way! When I was at high school my friends and I used to talk about where we wanted to visit and I always said Zimbabwe because it sounded cool and I didn’t know where it was.

Hmmm.

Then at a clothing store when I handed over my ID, the sales assistant said she’d quite like to live in a place like Zimbabwe. But she changed her mind when I said that there wasn’t a Starbucks.

One of the aspects that I found difficult traveling as a Zimbabwean was how I became so identified as Zimbabwe the country and all that’s wrong with it. Whilst it is certainly appropriate that horrified looks accompany any mention of Zimbabwe, because of the truly appalling situation here, I’m looking forward to the day when our country isn’t headline news because of violence and sadness.

The vast amount of email that I came home to revolved around the high levels of violence that we Zimbabweans are experiencing. The violence is being orchestrated by Zanu PF. But in The Standard published on 25th May, there’s a full page advertisement placed by the ruling party which says that Mugabe’s fist is against white imperialism, not against Zimbabweans. Apparently, according to Zanu PF, “support comes from persuasion not from pugilism”.

The kind of persuasion that cuts off a person’s lips, and cuts out their tongue? This is what was inflicted on Tonderai Ndira, a Movement for Democratic Change (MDC) activist who was abducted, tortured and murdered recently.

Dear Mr Mbeki

You made a famous speech at the beginning of your presidency about being an African. You also launched an ambitious and laudable project for the African Renaissance. Your place in history was guaranteed before you even started but your recent history of “No Aids, No Crime and No crisis” has only served to visit a torrent of ridicule on the man who is meant to represent the new African leadership.

From your pronouncements over the last few years, it is clear that your version of the African Renaissance meant that you were going to choose to work to banish all forms of stereotypes regarding the African man. Unfortunately, you have been so eager to do so that you have probably reinforced the very stereotypes you were working to dissolve. In fact, you have actually worsened the image of the black leader in the eyes of the world giving opportunities to newspapers like the Washington Times to label you a “Rogue Democrat.”

Instead of working to immediately acknowledge the severity of the AIDS pandemic and rape in South Africa for instance, you spent more time arguing against the perceived sexual tendencies of black people. AIDS is a world wide phenomenon! In Sudan, instead of rightly criticising the Khartoum regime for the state assisted genocide in their country, you chose to attack Winston Churchill for his adventures there ages ago! Then of course, there is “no crisis Zimbabwe.” While respected moral leaders like Desmond Tutu were loudly criticising Mugabe for being “the caricature of the African dictator” you were busy labeling him a coconut. You, as an African leader, have clearly not been “up to the task” in the Zimbabwean crisis!

Is it possible, then, Mr Mebki that you have taken your obsession for the African renaissance to such ridiculous levels that you are not willing to criticse Africans for the things you so desperately no longer want them to be guilty of in the eyes of the world? Are you going to sacrifice the children of Africa on the altar of convenience that wishes to restore the status of the African in history’s opinion? Did Idi Amin not exists much in the same way that Hitler did? Are Israeli atrocities in Palestine not comparable to Sudanese atrocities in Darfur?

Mr African, where is your sense of “I am because we are?” Where is your Ubuntu? History will not remember you for NEPAD. It will record you as the bright eyed renaissance man who was so obsessed with liberating the world of its image of Africa and Africans that he forgot the moral standards required for Africa to shed that very image. Your legacy will be that of intellectual, political and moral complicity in the deaths of AID patients, scars of crime victims and terrified citizens terrorised by their own governments in their own countries while you blamed the west and played with conspiracy theories. I, too, am proud to be an African, but not your kind of African.

Burnt buttocks, fettered feet, singed hair, charred homes. Cruel men play dentist. And without anesthetics, they forcibly extract healthy teeth from screaming patients. Patients who put their “X” on the “wrong” space. “If they do not understand, we will beat them until they understand,” a dead former minister said with glee at the height of farm murders circa year 2000 referring to white farmers. Today, the wrath is directed at fellow former comrades. We now “understand” what that dead man meant. Who said dead men tell no tales? Are dead men nothing but pictures? Turning in his grave? No, perhaps laughing all the way to that fiery place for souls unfavoured by St. Peter. Another said “we died (sic) for this country”. And that gives them that unique privilege to take lives, kick butt, pull the ears of infants, apply pliers to the genitals of sworn foes. A wise guy said: Not until all the so-called heroes of the struggle are called to the other life will we know peace. All heroes become a bore at last, another said. Burnt buttocks, fettered feet, singed hair, charred homes.

So the worst fears have been confirmed. CHRA and MDC activist and community organiser Tonderai Ndira, who was abducted from his home last week, has been found dead. Reportedly they had cut off his lips and cut out his tongue.

As Comrade Fatso put it:

Dead. A cold body in a mortuary. That’s how they found Tonde today. Abducted last week, he was tortured and beaten to death. An inspiring, young township freedom fighter whose words were in my ears last week, his breathing body in my eyes. Today the breath has been beaten out of him because he dared to believe that his people could be free. And dreams here are criminal things these days.

Tonderai Ndira was an example of everything that this military junta is trying to weed out and destroy. An energetic township organizer for the MDC, Tonde was inspiring to watch as he would lead us through his tree-lined Mabvuku suburb showing us his community’s problems and how they were determined to solve them. He was a true community activist, greeted by all who walked by and more popular than the local MP.

Once me and other comrades joined him for one of the most creative actions I’ve been in here. Mabvuku has had endless water shortages due to a corrupt City Council so letters supposedly from the Council were sent out to residents calling on them to come to the local Mabvuku council offices to discuss their plight. Soon there was a gathering at the offices of hundreds of Mabvuku residents, from water-bucket-on-head grandmothers to dread-locked scud-in-hand youths. The council representatives were overwhelmed and denied ever sending the letters. Angry residents told the officials and police where they wanted to stick their empty water buckets. Tonde, as usual, was in the forefront. The young and the old were united in their disdain for the answer-less officials. The riot police were called in. Santana trucks began hungrily chasing us and other township youths as we all evaporated into the sprawled out veins of dusty Mabvuku. But the point was made. No justice for us. No respect for you. And that is the message that Tonde’s activism has left written in the soil of his much-loved Mabvuku.

A few weeks ago Tendai Biti told the BBC: “If Mugabe thinks he’s going to get a default presidency, that will be over our dead bodies.”

Well, Biti, Mugabe has been the default president for the past two months. And it is over our dead bodies. 43 and counting. After the March election, the MDC said it was reluctant to organise popular actions in protest because they didn’t want to see people killed by the regime.

But the regime is killing people. And the run off isn’t for another five weeks. How many more of our friends, comrades, brothers, sisters, parents and children will we lose between now and then. And what is the MDC’s plan to ensure that this time, in this election, they take power? Because without concrete steps that see them convert an election victory to a term in office, what have Tonde, Tapiwa, Better and all the others died for?

I’ve had the lyrics of a typically heavy and raucous Rage Against the Machine song in my head – Take the Power Back.

The rage is relentless
We need a movement with a quickness
You are the witness of change
And to counteract
We gotta take the power back
Yeah, we gotta take the power back

The Zimbabwe Electoral Commission has extended until 31 July the date by when the Presidential run off must be held. However, given the timings of other outstanding by-elections, it is anticipated that they could be announcing the date of the runoff soon – and that it might well be in late June.

Regardless of the date of the runoff, it will be just one more stolen election unless we figure out how to stop election fraud and thieving. While the MDC is planning its runoff campaign, it should also be planning its take power campaign – how does it not just declare victory, but convert that election victory into taking power.

As Zimbabweans, we also have to start taking our power – from the politicians and unelected ministers and military authorities who are running the country instead of the democratically elected parliament.

A subscriber recently sent us this suggestion for a symbolic action people could do to stand up for ourselves and reclaim our power – and our country.

I suggest that people start being proud of the Zimbabwean flag, I bought five small flags in the form of a brooch for myself and my friends. I am wearing it everyday. The ZANU PF politicians monopolise the flag and other national symbols. Lets have the flags on our desks and be proud of OUR COUNTRY Zimbabwe.

A Stand Up (for) Zimbabwe Campaign has been formed, and is calling for an International Day of Action on 25 May. They are encouraging people to hold local actions to show solidarity for those affected by post-election violence.

It is envisaged that on this day there would, for example, be protests and assemblies outside offices of the Zimbabwean government, like embassies; outside offices of SADC, the AU and the UN calling for stronger action; outside offices of those individual governments which have roles to play in resolving the crisis (specifically southern African governments). All such protests and assemblies might be marked, for example, by a few minutes silence in which all those assembled stand in solidarity with the people of Zimbabwe. But the campaign can also be carried out through other activities: through asking congregations assembled at places of worship to rise and stand in solidarity with those beaten, tortured and killed in the post-election violence in Zimbabwe; by asking those gathered to watch sporting events to do the same.

Find out more about how to make sure your local action is part of this campaign here

Email us your ideas taking our power back to info [at] kubatana [dot] org [dot] zw or SMS +263 912 452 201

Tapiwa, Tairos, Gomwe and Bright. Moses and Tatenda. Shamva, Chiweshe, Chipinge, Uzumba, Dzivarasekwa, Warren Park, Mudzi, Masvingo.

The names, places, pictures and stories of post-election murder and violence have been swirling in my head.

A few weeks ago, the domestic worker at the house where I rent told me his 15 year old nephew had been among those assaulted in Rusape. The perpetrators broke both his arms and gouged out his eye.

And then there’s Tondi. CHRA and MDC activist Tonderai Ndira, who has been arrested 35 times – and tortured in custody on many of those occasions – was abducted from his home in the middle of the night and has not been located for days.

Then yesterday, I learnt about Better Chokururama, whom I’ve known since 2002. In February and March, he could often be spotted in an MDC campaign vehicle plastered with posters, Chinja jingles blaring loud, confident, exuberant, and full of promise.

Three weeks ago, he was beaten so badly he was on crutches. Earlier this week, he was abducted, shot, stabbed, and left for dead on the side of the road.

Lately I find I’m spending a lot of time with my heart in my mouth and my head in my hands. Trying to hold my brain in. Trying to make sense of the brutality.

But, of course, it is completely and utterly senseless.

I’m reminded of the words of a woman who has spent much of the past weeks working directly with victims of this violence:

Yesterday I was physically ill having presented a briefing on the post election political violence. Over the past ten years I have seen the results of, and personally witnessed, a lot of brutality. However, the events of the past five weeks have left me shell-shocked. The calculated, evil state sponsored and perpetrated violence against, and beating to death, anyone construed to be opposition, as well as MDC office bearers is to say the least barbaric. A doctor friend who is involved in human rights abuses almost 24/7, told me yesterday that she was felt the same. We are living in a dark tunnel that is close to overwhelming those closely involved with the tragedy unfolding in our beloved Zimbabwe.

I hear people asking how someone could so lose touch with their humanity they could beat another person to death. But I look around Zimbabwe – and I think about our contemporary and historic parallels of violence and brutality – and I’m questioning instead how any of us manages to hold on to our humanity in the face of atrocity, and wondering how to stop this violence peacefully and put some sense of sanity back into things.