Is polygamy in 2010 still relevant? Is there still polygamy today, or it has it evolved into something else? These are some questions I’m asking after attending a discussion in town yesterday. Polygamy, one person said at the discussion, was very dignified in the times of our long gone ancestors. It was meant to build unity and strengthen family ties. Men did not do it out of malice, or for want of more sex. The women of old had a choice of who would become Mrs Number Two.

But polygamy today is actually doing the opposite of what it did a long long time ago. Where polygamy looked at preserving the society before, it is destroying it today. We have HIV/AIDS these days so if Mr. Bhuru has eleven wives no matter how much of a bull he is, his ashes are not going to meet all the needs of a dozen women, half of them old enough to be his daughters.

Polygamy is not dignified today because it is now called small houses. Today it solves nothing but promotes promiscuity that has been legalized by our tradition. Polygamy for me is not right. It degrades women because women most of the time have no choice but to do it.  I say this because women are still at a disadvantage because they are not economically independent. Allow me to ask a question: if women of old were the ones who had the cattle, would we have had polygamy? If women of today are working and owning their own things would we still justify polygamy?

From what I heard at the discussion polygamy involves double lives and lies. What’s your take on polygamy today?

The passing away of Sam seriously hurts me. That young man was the most down to earth person on earth. He was humble to the core. I appreciated his music and him so much and I guess I should have told him all that when he was still around. I attended his funeral and I was moved by the crowd that came just to bid him fare well. To all the people that came to support the Mtukudzi family I salute you. However I would like to point out that not nearly a half of the people at the funeral attended his shows. If all of you came and supported him while he was still alive, for me that could have been the Zimbabwe I wish to be an artist in and live in. Not to wait for an artists death or any person in general to die before you come in throngs to support him or her. In the hundreds and thousands of people that attended Sam’s burial how many of you had his debut album let alone knew the title of his album. How many of you went to his shows and supported him. And above all how many of you have a pirated copy of his music. I am just saying lets not be semi supportive of anything in life. If you are going to come to someone’s funeral at least be there during their joys and trials while at least they are still alive. Come on Zimbabwe lets not be neither here or there. I suppose just like the way I did not tell Sam I appreciated him it’s the same way people did not come to his shows or buy his CDs while he was still alive. For the sake of the coming generation lets socialize our children differently and teach them its OK to tell and show a person how much we appreciate them while they are still alive.

REST IN PEACE Sam and Owen.

Marriages in Zimbabwe are not only about white dresses, twenty bridesmaids; colorfully decorated venues and long excruciating church services believe me. But before I get over myself let me start from the beginning.

There are only three recognized unions in our country. The first one is the 5:11 marriage, which is the civil marriage. The second one is the 5:07, which is the customary law marriage. This marriage is also called a potentially polygamous marriage. In this marriage the husband and not the wife is allowed to have more than one wife and that’s not all. He can have a civil marriage with his second wife. It means he can go to court or have a church wedding with his second wife and not his first wife. If he dies and he did not marry another wife under the customary law the wife is not allowed to inherit his land. What is given to her according to the law are her pots and blankets. The third is actually considered null and void. For example if you as a woman are impregnated and you go and live with him and he dies, the baby is the one who is recognized by the law. You as the wife are recognized as a girlfriend and not a wife even if you stayed together for five years. So the third one is recognized in the event that there is a child. If you just stayed with him without the 5:11 or the 5:07 you only get your pots and spoons in the event he dies.

As long as there is a duel system in Zimbabwe these marriages will always have loopholes. Even if a couple has a 5:11 marriage it has its own downfalls though it’s considered the one better than the 5:07. If it’s not done first it can be down graded to a 5:07 if the husband co-habits with a small house for a number of years and he happens to pass away. During the estate sharing, the two wives get the property of where they were living, and then the rest is shared equally among his children from both wives. Because the couple registered the 5:07 first when he went to pay rora.

This is the advice from lawyers. You must register the 5:11 first and stand a chance of not sharing your property even if he was cohabiting with another wife whom he married customary. The marriage will be taken as illegal because he had a one-wife one-man marriage. But this means you have to go to court and have the marriage registered before he goes to pay rora. With the judiciary system running parallel to the customary law, culture does not allow you to have the civil wedding before lobola.

My suggestion is to get all these things out of the way. We need to seriously make sure we get to participate in the rewriting of the constitution as women. I hope this happens sooner than later because with all this I know getting married now is kind of scary.

The last time I went to a discussion I heard a very shocking statement: women in the rural areas are likely to get more information on issues pertaining to women than urban women. So I urge all you sisters, mothers, aunts, cousins and friends that if you hear that there is a forum going on discussing women issues please be there. It is shocking to find out that an empowered sister who has access to Internet 24/7 does not have information on her fingertips as far as what is happening in their back yards is concerned. The NGO world makes it a point to do information distribution to rural communities on issues to do with reproductive health, the constitution making process, what women are entitled to and what they should look out for when it comes to their day to day living, and the political implications on their lives. I was indeed shocked that Mai so and so in Umzumba-Maramba-Pfungwe might know all those things more than me. Women in the city are slowly losing the community setting that the rural women have. Apart from kitchen parties, city women don’t deliberately sit and ask one another, so what do you think about the marriage law or find out another woman’s view about the political situation in the country. I have often times heard people making jokes about vakazdi veruwadzano (community women). I say not anymore. When those women are together they are discussing family planning methods, how to take care of children and the household. They are talking about home-based care, how to make sure they don’t get infected in the process. While in the city Miss Know It All with a laptop and desktop does not have a clue on her entitlement as a woman, let alone as a Zimbabwean citizen.

Mind blast; what artists want in the new constitution was the title of a recent Book Café forum that was calling artists to come and air their views and contribute to the industry that has so much potential in our country. But there were no artists to be found much to my disappointment. The artists that were there did not even fill my hand, they were just a spot of them in the venue that so fills with artists when there are events like the Sisters Open Mic and Bocapa just to name a few.

I really must repeat that I was disappointed. The place should have been buzzing with artists; we should have failed to fit in that space but eeish. One other thing I noticed is how late the discussion started, almost an hour late. In my mind I was thinking that if the Arts Industry is to be taken seriously then we must start being professional. The reason why people do not understand us artists is that we have stepped up to the plate that labels us as shady and doing it because we enjoy it and not because it’s a profession.

One speaker said that artists take it for granted that the society knows that art is a true expression of our culture. How are we going to change people’s minds when we don’t want to change our own? I tell you if artists had come to that discussion many could have left with a different mentality and start to place real value on what they do and whom they are.

One speaker described artists as practical people and I agree with him one hundred percent but that’s not how it looked at the meeting. A lot of artists were not practical enough to come to a forum that sought to find out from them what they want so that it is worth their while to be in the arts sector.

Enough of the disappointments though. I left early so I guess I too acted like a typical artist leaving before I would at least hear what other artists want from the constitution. One thing that one of the speakers talked about was that artists want all the rights, liberties on expressing their religion, views, tradition, identity and aspirations. I think many artists should have been there to applaud and nod their heads and say indeed that’s it, that’s what we want.

Students in tertiary institutions have faced a lot of challenges in their academic lives due to the governance crisis in Zimbabwe. Hence the Student Christian Movement of Zimbabwe has given them a platform to say out their anger and bitterness through the ‘I’ Stories Booklet, aimed at helping the students to heal, accept and forgive.

I spoke to the National Coordinator of the Student Christian Movement of Zimbabwe, Mr Innocent Kasiyano, and asked him why they put together the ‘I’ Stories Booklet. I also ask him what challenges were highlighted in the booklet that students are currently facing in tertiary institutions and what the vision of the Students Christian Movement of Zimbabwe is. Listen here