The road to marriage appears sweet and easy. This is where all the fun happens. There’s the courtship, which is sometimes characterised by a whirlwind romance and the marriage proposal. Then there are various traditional ceremonies as the two families engage each other, and begin the process of becoming one. These run concurrently with the fun and headaches of wedding preparations. In fact, some of the realities begin to reveal themselves during these preparations (arguments about the finances or who should be invited or indeed even the disinterest of the groom in the intricacies of the whole affair).

When couples date, they always give it their best, but once they start living together, standards begin to slip and eventually, couples see each other for what they really are. The restaurant meals, which characterised their courtships, are now replaced by overcooked, or burnt home cooking. You now know the state your partner’s home was in, when they came to meet you on a date, because that home is now yours too, and you are the one picking up dirty knickers. When you dated, you said things like “Let’s not argue about something so small, we only have a limited amount of time. Let’s not waste it on arguing”. But now in the marriage, some of those issues swept under the carpet during your courtship, come back to haunt you.

You may also refuse to accept that you are now mixing in a different circle and that some of the friends you had may no longer be appropriate. You may even realise that in-laws you thought were so sweet and welcoming were really excited about you, because of your baby-making potential and within a year there are pointeded questions being asked about when the babies will come. While dating, you often spoke of how many children you’d like to have, not realizing that these were not just numbers you are throwing around and that the reality of these numbers and what they demand of you in terms resources is quite another thing.

Many couples begin to panic as they fail to adjust to that reality of marriage. This panic ranges from complete shock, which may lead to some people bailing out of their failing marriages, by either physically (cheating) or emotionally withdrawing. Other’s panic can manifest itself as anger, which leads to abuse of self (drinking too much) and of the spouse (violence). Others trudge on, to save face or later, on for the sake of the children.

So many people go into marriage with unrealistic expectations not really knowing the key issues that make their spouses tick and many may not realize that saying “I do” marks the beginning of a different process as opposed to the continuum of the more romantic beginning. This inadequate preparation for marriage is leading to so many problems (small houses etc.). Maybe if people are better prepared for the realities of marriage, things in Zimbabwe would be a little different, after all, “fore-warned is fore-armed”. I’m sure there are many married people who will read this article. I hope that some of you may even think that it really speaks to you. What would you have loved to know before you got married that would have prepared you for the realities of this very noble and serious institution?

Despite the optimism communicated, by the Health and Child Welfare Ministry’s Seretse Maphosa, I am having a difficult time believing that the Zimbabwean public is that ready and willing to go for HIV testing. Our aversion to testing goes beyond a lack of adequate and nearby testing facilities. The truth is many, if not most people, would rather not know their HIV status. Testing positive changes one’s life, and most Zimbabweans are not ready or adequately equipped for dealing with these changes.

I am curious to know what the Ministry’s plan is, beyond getting half a million Zimbabweans to get tested in 10-days. I would also like to know what other support systems they have for those who test positive, beyond the once-off, pre and post-testing counseling services we’ve all come to know and associate with HIV testing. Will they assist with treatment and medication those who test positive will consequently require? What are they doing concurrently with the testing campaign to combat stigma, which I believe to be the deadliest aspect HIV?

I remember learning about endangered animal species while I was in school. Freshest in my mind are pythons and rhinos. I always hoped to see the latter in the flesh but it seems I might be running out of time. I am sad to say that the Western Black Rhino is no more, according to the International Union for Conservation of Nature. They also say that several other sub-species of rhinos will soon be extinct too. If we are not careful, the BIG FIVE may soon be the NOT-SO-BIG FOUR. For more, here you go:

The Western black rhino of Africa has been declared officially extinct, and two other subspecies of rhinoceros are close to meeting the same fate, a leading conservation group said Thursday.

The International Union for Conservation of Nature said a recent reassessment of the Western black rhino had led it to declare the subspecies extinct, adding that the Northern white rhino of central Africa is now “possibly extinct” in the wild and the Javan rhino is “probably extinct” in Vietnam, after poachers killed the last animal there in 2010.

A small but declining population of the Javan rhino survives on the Indonesian island of Java, it added.

“A lack of political support and willpower for conservation efforts in many rhino habitats, international organized crime groups targeting rhinos and increasing illegal demand for rhino horns and commercial poaching are the main threats faced by rhinos,” the group said in a statement accompanying the latest update of its so-called Red List of endangered species.

About a quarter of all mammals are at risk of extinction, IUCN said, adding that some species have been brought back from the brink with successful conservation programs.

The southern white rhino numbered just 100 animals at the end of the 19th century, but has since flourished and now has a population of more than 20,000.

SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE

According to the World Malaria Report 2010, “there were 225 million cases of malaria and an estimated 781 000 deaths in 2009, a decrease from 233 million cases and 985 000 deaths in 2000. Most deaths occur among children living in Africa where a child dies every 45 seconds of malaria and the disease accounts for approximately 20% of all childhood deaths.”  Furthermore, an alarming 90% of deaths by the disease occur in Africa. However there seems to be some light at the end of the tunnel, with scientists in Cambridge, at the Wellcome Trust Sanger Institute, having discovered the weakness in malaria parasites, with the hope of developing vaccines for the killer disease, and saving millions of lives. Read more on this very encouraging and exciting news here

If stuck for conversation or just wanting to start a spirited discussion with complete strangers, just say “ZESA yanyanya!” (in English “ZESA has taken it too far!), and instantly, you’ll all begin to sound as unified as though you had known each other for years.

The issue of power supply is one of the few issues, which does not discriminate. All across the country, rural and urban, high density and low, new neighbourhood and old, ZESA continues with the indiscriminate power cuts. Whether one has a generator or inverter, gas or paraffin stove or firewood, we are all feeling the pinch of the incessant power outages.

Short of solar power, all the alternatives to ZESA electricity are so dangerous. In the past month, I have heard of at least 5 separate incidents where children have been seriously injured or killed by alternative power sources and fuels. One child got burnt by a fallen candle, while another’s eye was burned beyond repair by sparks from a fire lit for cooking and warming bath water. Another child was burnt by hot water from a pot who’s handle suddenly broke, after being weakened by prolonged exposure to the heat of a fire.

I will not even go into the issue of the daylight robbery they call reconnection fees, which in itself is not a one-off fee, as customers also have to “tip” ZESA technicians and pick them up for them to come and reconnect. We have all heard enough of the stories about the Nampower debt and the upgrade of the Hwange sub-station and blah, blah, blah! The question is not why is power supply so bad. No! The question is what are you going to do about it? Maybe it’s time for us as a nation to admit that we are living beyond our means and can no longer afford electrical power. Why not give solar a try ZESA? Apart from the panels, it is FREE!

The cholera outbreak of 2008, which claimed the lives of thousands, was devastating. Sadly, as soon as the situation was under control, and fewer and fewer people died of the disease, we all took on an attitude that the crisis had been overcome and that the worst was over. Not much has done to put systems and infrastructures in place to prevent Zimbabwe from ever being riddled with the infectious disease again.

It therefore comes as no surprise that we are now reading news reports about typhoid fever infections. What preventative measures are being taken to ensure that Harare’s cholera-friendly atmosphere, (poor water supply, garbage collection and sanitation facilities), does not contribute to or result in another deadly outbreak? Prevention is better then cure! Is it possible to nip typhoid fever in the bud, as it were, before it becomes cholera?

See the related story in The Zimbabwean.