I see there is a lot of excitement ahead of elections about worthy and unworthy candidates. This is normal in any contestation of worldviews, especially within our political space here in Zimbabwe where divergent views for some mean kung fu kicks to the head of the interlocutor with whom you don’t agree.

What I find curious is that 33 years after independence, enters into public debate the issue of “qualifications” for those aspiring for public office. It tells a more profound story that meets the eye. When did Zimbabweans realise that this is what will solve their problems?

Critics have, not surprisingly, trashed such calls as breeding some misplaced elitism in the arena of public service as they the critics imagine it.

That this country has one of the highest PhDs per capita across the African continent and has still been steered down an abyss is a no brainer.

What is curious is that while people “obsess” about qualifications, they are the same people who will tell you that the real world only responds to intelligent behavior that is not gleaned from devouring tomes whose value to human development and understanding the universe is questionable.

But that’s a criticism we hear all the time, and it reads like that old aphorism that people who say money isn’t everything are usually people who don’t have the money themselves!

Money is everything, some have retorted, and if we are to conflate the two, money and education, another logical fallacy quoted elsewhere becomes relevant: that a rich man can never be wrong, and therefore you have no reason taking a poor fellow’s opinions seriously!

That is how Zimbabweans have tended to develop their own knowledge systems in the cruel world of the 21st century, but it remains to be seen if the real world has been successfully manipulated by the literati so to speak to make it a better place.

And of course this being Zimbabwe where there is always emphasis to push one’s chest out and claim one academic degree or another, some have said anyone who speaks ill of “educated leaders” wants the country to be led by dunces.

And that tells you the level of “education” the people in this debate have! Isn’t it ironic?

It is no surprise really that Mugabes in the form of the head of state’s nephews have over the years fashioned themselves as above the law. Hey, this is African politics, the right surname can get you places, you know!

This does not help matters in trying to fight the fires of accusations of Zanu PF being essentially anarchist, and we only have to recall the dreadlocked one “invading” a bird sanctuary and ominously promising that he will be back after the “law” extended its arm and forced the “occupiers” to retreat.

Now we read that the former football administrator nephew of the president walked into a Chinese company (how dare he?), declared that he was the new head honcho, changed locks and expected to live happily ever after.

Yes just like that.

This is just but another reminder that the country has to wean itself from the odium forcibly visited on it by people who firmly believe they must “eat” from this anarchist’s trough, gorge themselves before Zanu PF disappears from the country’s political radar.

Surely they must be seeing this as imminent despite all that propagandist baloney that all signs point to extend rule come elections, why would there be this brazen economic anarchism on the eve of poll?

One indigenisation exponent actually once told a public meeting that Zimbabwe will not always be caught in this political and economic circus, therefore people must move in for the kill now – i.e. capitalise on the lawless expropriation of mines, companies, farms etc.

Something worth imagining is that while the lawyer of the Chinese firm Leo Mugabe was envying said Leo was “applying laws of the jungle”, and the courts have ordered the anarchist to “immediately and forthwith” return any documents, offices and office keys and any other such effects to the Chinese firm,” would the ruling have been this favourable had it not been a Chinese firm under siege?

A report today says Zanu PF “recently acquired 550 vehicles, – an assortment of single and double cab 4X4 vehicles Toyota Hilux, Nissan NP300, Ford Ranger and Mazda BT50s valued at USD14$million.” All this from a party supposedly broke? And was it not only this month that we read that cops had impounded MDC-T bikes on allegations that the motorbikes “were smuggled into the country?” SMH

While millions have “religiously” embraced social media with the kind of enthusiasm perhaps not seen since the invention of the Gutenberg press, this has, predictably perhaps, come at a price.

Well, for that little thing called social etiquette, which is set to have knock on advertising traffic on these portals.

Citizens of social media spaces have lapped up on the anonymity offered here where you can create user accounts under various aliases and post all manner of both palatable and unpalatable stuff.

And raw bigotry, sexual, or otherwise, has been just but one bane to afflict these spaces where disparaging “sexual jokes” and what some are calling Facebook Rape, has become “normal.” Talk about the well-worn phrase “normalizing the abnormal.”

And this is stuff usually not uttered in any other setting but has with increasing audacity found its way into these very public spaces called social media.

Facebook is now being lobbied to act and this is something FB cannot ignore.

Its advertisers are being targeted by lobbyists, and for a company with over 1 billion users, and as it is agreed that with such numbers, social networks can indeed make a lot of moolah, Facebook can only but pay attention.

Called the the #FBrape campaign’s strategy it seeks to “hold Facebook accountable for the misogynistic content of its users by pressuring advertisers.”

And misogynistic content sure abounds, and for Ndebele and Shona readers, this is all too familiar and we all know how raw vulgarity spoken or written in our own languages can be.

Yet for some this call to “block” offensive posts can very easily be seen by advocates of free speech as militating against the very ideals of such platforms, namely that there is no censorship.

The twist of course being that the average individual lives by moral codes that would be universally applicable, and this is apparently not so considering the #Facebook rape campaign that has been launched: Facebook rape is cool for some.

It is in essence a call for FB to closely look at its content policy without infringing on individual rights, yet I still find it contradictory that some still see it as a “human right” to freely express themselves on “your” wall using all sorts of “unprintable” stuff!

It is the same freedom they demand that should tell them to respect other people’s space, no?

It would be interesting to see how seriously these issues are taken in a developing country like ours where one can go to any FB page and be met by shocking stuff written in our vernacular dialects.

And remembering that ours is a land where all sorts of homophobic expression is hailed where you can label anyone you don’t not agree with and this supposedly being the ultimate insult thanks to our dear leader.

It’s a space to watch as advertising traffic also targets Zimbabwean users.

It would be quite an undertaking for people whose first language is not English to have a lobby at that scale as seen by the #Facebook rape campaign.

But then Facebook, has already made “promises to train its content moderators (and an entire planet of actual users) to flag and remove violent content.”

Despite such things as “blocking abusive user” some comments can still be found on some pages administered by Zimbabweans, and a case in point could well be the one launched after Big Brother housemates were announced with a page created to vote out Zimbabwe’s female rep.

It is the kind of language that Women, Action, & the Media (WAM!) who set up the #FBrape campaign want blocked from the site, but has become part of an acceptable lexicon despite what is seen by many as the unapologetic chauvinism that accompanies it. It is curious that some of the comments have been attributed to female followers of Big Brother! Solidarity, no?

Facebook has already made a commitment to keep vigilant, however admitting that “these are complicated challenges and raise complex issues. Our recent experience reminds us that we can’t answer them alone.”

And by that they mean these questions will be answered with the help of rapists who prowl the FB looking for victims!

Are we men yet?

Something was recently posted online that made me pause and reflect on how impersonal Zimbabwean society has become over the years thanks to the odious nature of our politics.

A reader posted on a bulletin board to comment on the death of someone prominent last week.

Thus read the comment: “Greet Satan for me. BYE.”

These forums have become the modern day agora where all sorts of comments are aired, yet I found it was one of those audacious statements that get you asking about the person’s cultural and social sensibilities, yet for anyone who has lived through the impunity dealt on political crimes especially, you somewhat readily see the anger contained in that statement.

We had always thought that every death is regrettable, that you commiserate with even your worst enemy, for death is something you cannot wish on anyone – alongside getting someone fired, I might add! Schadenfreude, I believe it’s called.

These are things enjoyed by the Devil’s disciples, we are often told, yet Zimbabwe’s post-independence narrative is fraught with emotions that have seen many deviating from the what would be a universally accepted response to the loss of human life and actually celebrating someone’s death.

Such tales abound and they invariably border on politics where, because ordinary people have been failed by all pretence to legal processes, see death as the ultimate equalizer.

There is no need to repeat the late Chenjerai Hunzvi’s words of condemnation to local youths who drank themselves silly celebrating Laurent Kabila’s death back in 2001. The same youths also rejoiced when he himself died that same year!

Thus it can be concluded many here will readily identify with Mark Twain’s witticism: “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

Sad by any measure.

One of the tragedies that Zimbabweans living in places that have become extremely dangerous – that is assuming they were not dangerous all along – is living with the fear of death, while at the same time not seeing the return to the safety of your own country as a particularly welcome proposition.

It has become the story of poor working class Zimbabweans toiling in South Africa where all this xenophobic nonsense continues despite the staged euphoria of the African Union’s golden jubilee.

No wonder President Sata had unkind words for the dream of a “continental passport!”

Zimbabweans who still dream of returning home, if only they could get jobs, have become the classic example of being caught between a rock and hard place.

I read the other day a news feature which I felt had been repeated for the past 10+ years but (not) surprisingly continues to be reported even today.

It was about a woman deported from South Africa only to return the very same day.

And what she had to go through to make it back to her Johannesburg hovel is mind-blowing.

But there is no new story there, yet the pertinent issue is why this keeps happening, why young people who continue to lose colleagues to xenophobes will tell you they are not about to quit the not-so-bright lights of Jo’burg.

Why, they ask, return to the misery back home?

Yet I know some who have returned to the potholed streets of Bulawayo claiming they want to return to school after witnessing what opportunities education can open for them in South Africa.

It’s sad really, but this is a song that has played for so long it has numbed our sense of shock and shame.