The rumour went out this morning

‘They are about to ‘pick up’ particular ‘target’ people from civil society’

(for many have been speaking publically of their worries of rigging and corruption
and producing evidence  and reports to back their claims)
and Sunday is a good day to make arrests as there is no court open to bring a complaint

And we look, again, at the power that  fear can unleash on our energy
how one ‘reliable source of information’ can lead us away from our centers

years ago we responded to these threats by closing down
moving out of our homes/offices – our places of safety – taking refuge until normal life could resume

Today it feels different
a phone-tree between people is activated
the connections with webs already formed is alerted
we close the gates
(burn the Tamil cleansing smoke in the center of the herb spiral – if that calls to you)

make the tea
and watch the sun spread light into the Sunday garden

There is an old, deep wounding that runs through our land
the pain of the torn flesh of old hatreds, bloodletting, abuse of power, colonialism and wars for ownership of land

However, 33 years ago our country gained independence
and we covered the wounds in an ‘agreed forgetting’
with the hope that the new dreams had the space to come in

but beneath the scarred skin,
the festering pain of the unheard stories continued

a legacy inflicted on our youth
old wounds – belonging times before they were born

and we used our children to bleed them back into the world
no longer in a battle framed by tribe or colour or religious ideal
but in the simple pursuit of personal greed and partisan political power

5 years ago
a ‘failed’ election left us with the dictator in control of the army and police, sharing the government with the opposition party
together they were tasked with creating a new constitution and putting in place a set of agreed reforms
to make way for a new election.

5 years with the hierarchy involved in a struggle
for the Mercedes/house on the hill/women/control of business/diamonds/ownership of land

5 years in limbo
as the country continued to suffer the abandonment of roads/schools/water systems/electricity/refuse collection
our children on the streets

for the people no longer counted in the way of things

5 years in which growing circles in communities across the country
have come to realize – we are on our own
and the survival of our communities is our own business
that peace will only come from our hands
that old wounds/new wounds could no longer buried
they had to be spoken before they could heal
and that they would only heal from the inside out

5 years in which we have grown to understand
that we have no place in battles that are not of our making
that the time is passed to ‘fight against’
that the time has come to ‘stand for’ something we believe in
for peace and truth and stability in our lives

This week we will have an ‘unconstitutional’ election
(the president fast-tracked changes to electoral laws agreed on by all political parties in cabinet and used a presidential decree to bypass Parliament)
almost 2 million of people under 30 years of age have been from prevented from registering
on a flawed voters role that contains the names of nearly a million deceased or departed
(we  surely have the largest population in the world of people between 100 and 120)
and 63 constituencies that have more voters than residents

We walk through a gateway of designed chaos
knowing that old men do not readily give up power

not knowing the next steps
other than that this time, we have something else to bring to our future
our own learning

tichaona – we shall see

The success of the system is dependent on us believing them –

‘that we are all enemies and cannot trust one another
we are all competing for the same piece of pie
that we are not safe’.

What if we stopped believing this?
What if we met our assumed foes with the voice of friendship and our fears with courage and trust?

As we stand poised on the brink of yet another year
with the same power in the same places
and  Zimbabwe under the threat of yet another election and the accompanying intimidation and violence

we wait
as the leadership juggles around their personal advantages against what might happen
. . . if the choice to was given to the people (god forbid)

It can look pretty dark out there

But what we see depends on where we look.
Perhaps if we choose where look more carefully we can see the next steps in the journey

Two stories have given this year a certain impetus for me:

One from my niece, Hayley, who teaches at a junior girls school in England

‘……they are from a very wealthy section of London society – it’s a private school with small classes so they get lots of individual attention, and I often want them to understand how lucky they are – not so that they feel guilty but more so that they become aware of how they can help others. And so I introduced R.A.C.K to my class – Random Acts of Care and Kindness. I made a paper bunting strip that hung at the back of my class and told the girls that every time they did something nice for someone else they could write it on one of the paper triangles from a particular box and I’d hang it up. They quickly got the idea and within two weeks the string was full, so I added more on two sides of my room… and they filled up too.

None of the good deeds are very dramatic but they are sweet – helping a neighbour wash his car, getting a box on a high shelf for an elderly person in a supermarket etc.

The thing is, these girls have decided that they love helping others. They understand that a smile and friendly greeting go a long way. In fact before Christmas when the whole school walked across the town to the local church for a carol concert practice, the whole procession was held up by my class chatting to the homeless guy outside Marks and Spencer’s who was selling The Big Issue. It made my heart sing!

And slowly, the girls are changing the world one smile at a time.’

The other was an event offered by Barbara, Jonathan and Sam, who celebrated the birthday of their friend  Carrie, in South Africa:

‘Carrie is one of those generous souls who do things like (to quote her) – “dancing the whole night through until sunrise (preferably in a small, hot shebeen in Nairobi), baking cookies for your neighbours, going to a dinner party and spending the entire evening playing with the children, paying the toll for the car behind you, stopping to help someone stuck on the side of the road (even though you know NOTHING about car mechanics), giving someone an unexpected present, eating an entire box of chocolates, deliver a meal to someone in need, spamming your friends with (hopefully) inspirational text messages, organising or attending a demonstration for something you feel passionately about….” You get the idea? ‘

At her request, B, J and S  ‘Did it like Carrie’, by going through the collection of books and DVD’s, and holding an open house  yesterday afternoon with an invitation to us all to come and collect what we would like.  We had tea and caught up with one another, shared stories and began the year in our community in an act of generosity.

Do we look, forever, to the dark out there, to have our fears echoed back at us
or do we walk into it, shining our own?

In the face of whatever is coming – these random acts of generosity carry with them the possibility of something different

and they begin a spiral of patterns that has no know ultimate end.

It calls to me.

Our country has a history of violence – our children have experienced the horror and fear of rape and beatings in their schools, communities and homes.

Tree of Life workshops have been spreading throughout Zimbabwe over the last 9 years. They are Healing and Empowerment workshops facilitated by survivors of torture, violence and rape. The Story Telling Circles are based round the tree metaphor and allow for the integration of past, present and future experiences, and makes a deep connection to spiritual beliefs and traditions.

And our forest is growing, the roots stretching wider and wider throughout our country.

For the last 5 months, this growing number of facilitators have been gathering in ‘Gender Circles’ and meeting the difficult space between socially and culturally accepted norms and matching them against our Tree of Life Agreements: Equality, respect, truth, love, tolerance, humility.

These have been difficult conversations, particularly in a present external culture of abuse of power. But like all difficult conversations, they have been rich with compassion and learning.

The women have begun to move beyond the silencing of their voices and the ownership of their bodies. They have spoken of the value of mothering and community and loyalty and love, the limitations of jealousy and victimhood, and have learnt to walk with dignity and respect.

The men have listened to stories of rape – and have had the space to share their own. They have looked at the inequalities of ownership, and the effects it has had on their lives – in schools, churches, political organisations and the places they work. They have shared the limitations and difficulties of family  responsibilities inflicted upon them – often from an early age.

We met last Friday (18th March) There were over 50 of us, facilitators from Tree of Life communities and organisations representing the hundreds of circles who stand behind them, and we spoke of the One Billion Rising on the 14th February.

And we decided we are READY
We are ready to join the dance
We will be joining all the global rising on V Day against the abuse of women.

We are in the process of planning
Watch this space!

We will be posting on Facebook, Her Zimbabwe and One Billion Rising Zimbabwe

Christmas is mango juice running down forearms
swooping birds snapping flying ants out of the sky
the warm smell of wet earth and the shiver of swiftly growing foliage
fledglings screeching for their parents on dripping branches
and the snap, as you break through brittle leachy skin, and sweet-sticky juice floods your senses

painted-cloud sunsets and thundering rain on tin roofs

praise songs echoing up from the vlei
 
the smell of roadside mealies roasted on open fires
the smell of Tony cooking the ham and Kate cooking Christmas cake
friends on the verandah drinking home-grown coffee  and red wine
dinner on the outside table
as stars glimpse through billowing clouds

our Christmas will be here,
where we have been all along
watching the turning of time
2012 has been filled with wonder and struggle and gratitude and friends and family
with births and deaths and the promise of what is to come
and a deep sense of knowing
that this is where we belong

The Tree of Life had its last partners meeting of 2012
Representatives came from each of our 15 different community partners
from neighboring Chisawasha and Chitungweza, and as far as Buhera, Murehwa and Motoko
over 60 old friends meeting from across the country after a years of dedicated work
gay colours and gay voices echo through the trees

Over this last year, three of these rural communities are now established as locally approved and licensed organizations
five more are in the process of setting theirs up
the others are still doing facilitator training and getting organized for next year

the roots are in the ground

rural workshops have taken place in communities in widening circles
run on a minimal budget (transport and food and cell phone air time)
and are being welcomed by the local authorities across political divide.
they have included teachers and headmen and war veterans and rape victims
and perpetrators and pastors and counselors  and grandmothers and children
we have trained 50 new facilitators
there have been football matches between communities
and monthly circles
and facilitators sharing responsibility for running healing circles between communities

The work of connecting to all the structures, to individuals in different communities and maintaining the circles has been unending

This year the Tree of Life facilitators – the core team and a number of our community facilitators
conducted a research study lead by CVT (the Centre for Victims of Torture)
with 144 participants in rural communities  (some a 14 km walk from the bus stop)
we compared our workshop with an alternative (Psychology Education) intervention and a group with no intervention
double blind/pre and post interviews/ 2months and 5 months follow ups etc.etc.
The results are amazing

They show beyond any doubt
that Zimbabweans (even as the conflict continues) have the ability to heal themselves
that survivor-to-victim facilitation in community circles carries incredible power
that communities have the ability to transform
that connections can be made across the country and the political divide

The power of this realization is immense . . .

from those early seeds sewn in those first circles over 8 years ago
we find ourselves standing in a growing forest

Over these years – as we have struggled with funding
small groups of people across the planet have sent us life-saving pocket money
we call it ‘Love Money’ and keep it in the Circle Fund
it has been these acts of trust and generosity from these small groups that has kept these rural people going

It is now Christmas

We received a donation from our friends at WHEAT in Canada which arrived just before our closing circle
and with it we were able to answer a call we have had from a number of our rural partners
– a bike to reach one another in the communities!
So we handed out ‘the-price-of-a-bike’ Christmas tokens (about $70) to each of our Tree of Life partners
for them to choose how it can best be spent in their area
and acknowledged them all for the contribution they have given to the healing and holding of their communities

It has been a good, hard, real year
thank you all