Keeping it fresh … why should virginity only apply to girls?
Are you virgin? That’s none of my business, right? I mean, how dare I (or anyone for that matter), ask you that question! Well, some women are being asked that very question, by potential in-laws, by way of virginity testing. When I heard someone relate the story of what a certain woman, at the insistence of her soon-to-be fiancé’s parents, only for him to end up not marrying her (for other reasons), I was taken aback. Her virginity was a prerequisite for the marriage. Nothing was mentioned about any testing he had to undergo.
But one can understand the lure of virginal purity (especially when it comes to marriage); the idea that a woman is untouched and untainted by another, and has kept herself in this state, only for you, is a testament of the superior altitude of her morality. And being the man in possession of such freshness is beyond compare. She is the ultimate prize; the ultimate bride, and brings honour to her family, and therefore warrants an extra cow, come lobola time, called ‘chimhanda’.
Newlywed’s bed-sheets were inspected after their wedding night, as part of the marriage ceremonies of old, and bloodied sheets were celebrated as symbols of the bride’s purity. Virginity testing (checking for an intact hymen), in Zimbabwe’s history, has been seen as a way of preserving this purity in girls by preventing them from indulging in sexual activity before marriage and instilling in them, a sense of morality. I’ve heard of a Zambian girl living here in Zimbabwe who undergoes and passes regular virginity testing, who is by no means a ‘virgin’. She does EVERYTHING but… and such is essentially still a virgin, because her hymen is intact. A prospective suitor may take her to get her virginity tested, and be pleased with the results, but will he be getting the vision of purity and freshness earlier described?
“A virginity test is the practice and process of determining whether a female is a virgin – The test involves an inspection of the female’s hymen, on the assumption that her hymen can only be torn as a result of sexual testing.” Wikipedia.
The above-mentioned definition of the practice makes no mention of men. Should they not be “keeping it fresh” too, or is virginity among the many things that don’t apply to them? Boys are not expected to abstain from sex before marriage. In fact, their sexual exploits, (sometimes, including infidelity), are encouraged, or at the very least condoned. It is unfair that virginal brides-to-be can never hope for the same freshness from her partner.
What is this virginity anyway? In only focusing on the physical aspects of virginity we are missing the point. Does it not include the absence of any knowledge of sex and completely uninitiated innocence? I can assure all men out there, that there is no physical test for these qualities.