Culture, personal identity, lobola and Zimbabwe
Didymus Zengenene’s blog post titled is Lobola still valid in the era of equality? made me think. I consider myself a feminist, yet I want my future husband to pay roora to my family. Yes, that’s right, my family as a whole. The understanding of what roora or lobola is, and what it means has, through time and loose translation been lost to a generation that now considers English meaning of a shona or ndebele tradition to be Gospel. But what happens when that tradition’s real meaning is lost in translation? We get feminists, neo liberals and the like clamouring for the banishment of that tradition, using big words like equality and gender imbalance. Don’t get it twisted, I’m all for gender equality. But I also believe that culture is an important factor in personal identity.
Translated into English roora, means bride price. Of course then, on the surface, this tradition would appear to be a man buying a woman. I don’t deny that there are those who pervert that perception of this tradition to enrich themselves by selling off their underage daughters. Neither do I deny that there are men and women who believe that by having roora paid for her a woman must be completely submissive to her husband or suffer the consequences, violent or not. But these are the ill-advised actions of people, not the intent of the tradition. They reflect more on the characters of the individuals involved than on the culture they profess to practice.
The act of paying roora shouldn’t be looked at in isolation. It is part of a complex and formal process of negotiation that results in a mutual agreement of the bride price. Roora is not meant to extract ridiculous sums of money from the would be groom. In fact for true traditionalists, the exchange of money, which is foreign to our culture, is taboo. Roora is a tradition that is rooted in building a sense of community, both within the families that are marrying, and between them. A man cannot marry alone, the cattle he pays to his bride’s father are those cattle given to his family by his brothers in law. The ceremony itself cannot happen with out a number of members of the extended family being present, tete’s (the bride’s father’s sisters), Sekuru’s (the bride’s mother’s brothers), varoora (sisters in law to the bride) and hanzvadzi (brothers and sisters) included. Far from being transactional, this tradition is meant to establish and reinforce a relationship between the two marrying families to strengthen the new union. It is impossible for a good parent to place a monetary value on a child, so why should it be looked at in monetary terms alone?
In answer to Didymus’ question, as a card-carrying feminist who wouldn’t suffer the indignity of being dictated to by a man simply because he is one, yes I think it still is. I think the tradition of roora, as it was intended, is very important. In a time when divorce rates climb every day and our sense of culture and community is being lost through cultural alienation, migration and other factors I think it is more important now than ever.
Tuesday, March 9th 2010 at 6:49 pm
Interesting
I like that presentation, yes as pointed out, the whole world has been brain washed by europeans and made to believe that everything european is good and everything african or other wise is horrible or satanic, to put it in the christian terms. I am a true zimbabwean and have travelled to many countries and met different cultures, honestly one thing I have discovered suprised me, and that is, if you need a descent family, if you need to meet descent people, people who have moral respect in families. people who still know the difference between a brother and a sister, a father and daughter and mother and son, then those people are still only found in Zimbabwe.
So you can understand the onslaught the europeans are having on our people, they want to destroy this culture, because we have at least managed to hold on to it. Zimbabweans we must be proud of ourselves and our culture.
Wednesday, March 10th 2010 at 9:49 am
i read the blog by dydimus and was actually quite shocked. i have no doubt that he is an intelligent man but he tottaly missed the boat and i’m glad you highlighted some points that he missed. we have been led to believe (as tonderayi rightly says) by the west that things in our culture are antiquated and barbaric. i’ve heard people complain about lobola but never the dowry paid on a man in india
Wednesday, March 10th 2010 at 1:16 pm
I too read Dydimus’s blog, I think his view is correct in the sense that, I have some women who are struggling to get out of their marriages simply because their parents do not accept it easily, they ate pfuma yemukwasha, so they say. Now I wonder if that is the way Upenyu wants the pride price will reduce devorces. If it does the women still suffers in that relationship.
Friday, March 12th 2010 at 11:00 am
@ I Mutsaunobaya I should ask if these women you speak of are financially able to leave their husbands. I feel that the issue with these women is not cultural, but financial. In being so quick to put the blame on the tradition of roora, you lose sight of the responsiblity that everyone involved with these woman has towards them, this includes their parents, husbands and extended families. Having a member of your family married into another family doesn’t sever the relationship between you.
As I said in my blog before, the ill advised actions of individuals should not be interpreted as the intent of the tradition. When i said the tradition of Roora (and not the act of paying Bride-Price as you incorrectly assert) strengthens unions, it does so in terms of having one’s community in support of that marriage. Roora opens up channels of communication between a muroora and her husband’s family; and a mukwasha and his wife’s family. These channels are there in order to save the union, IF it can be saved. There may be instances where it cannot. It is important to remember that divorce, is not the only option when there are marital differences. Leaving a marriage, in any culture, is not easy to do when you have no money, nowhere to go, and no means of supporting yourself and your children (if ther are any). That being said it is not impossible.
If you wish to help your women friends there are organisations like Musasa Project that can assist them. Please check the Kubatana directory for more information.
Sunday, March 14th 2010 at 1:25 pm
I think Dydimus’s arguments converge with yours on certain points. They’re only toned differently and emphasize on different points. I’m sure we all agree the kuroora process is a necessary part our culture and that it contributes to our wellness. I’m sure we all also agree the process has been adulterated to the point of tagging a price on a woman, and that this has resulted in a number of problems.
Is lobola still valid in the era of equality? Yes and No.
Yes. Its purpose is critical to Zimbabwe’s social wellness
No. In it’s current widely accepted form, roora has lost much of it’s purpose and needs serious decontamination.
Wednesday, March 17th 2010 at 1:16 pm
Interesting point and I have to say I agree with you Upenyu. As a daughter of a woman who has married a murungu it is even more important for me to find a man willing to pay roora. NB the murungu did pay roora and for him it was symbol of his understanding and acceptance of our culture which he has come to love and appreciate as his own. I think you will find, not all Westerners find our culture outdated, barbaric etc. If anything it proves some still adhere to the old-fashioned values that unfortunately have become a distant memory in their own countries.
This is why it is important to hold on to ours. It is not a tradition that objectifies but rather I think a symbol of a great nation and its people. In a time when it is fairly easy to forget who we are an where we come from.
It is unfortunate that some individuals have abused this tradition and its significance has been diluted over the years. I am firm believer that just because you have paid money to my family that does not mean you own me. Could it be that recently the financial aspect has been given too much weight? I recall a few months back, a colleague at work remarked on how her brother/family went to pay $7000 for his bride. Surely that is a lot of money, and $7000 is a good sum for the newly weds to invest in their future together?
Thursday, March 18th 2010 at 12:00 am
I think that it does not profit us to develop ‘collective amnesia’ as a people/nation and forget that in our culture or whats left of it or what we have chosen to pick from it,it is and has always been crucial for social and moral cohesion to have some form of it no-matter how grotesque or distorted because in that practice we find that there is agreement that there is a relationship being created and not a ‘huretationship’ as in common nowadays..We need to pick what works from that culture and leave what is outdated in the ‘Cultural Archive’…cliche-Culture is dynamic because people are dynamic,and people make culture to be what it is.
Wednesday, March 31st 2010 at 2:20 pm
i am particularly impressed by the perspectives.it is true that there is a general misconception when it comes to roora,it has been typified as a commercial endevour,whereby value for money is put to the fore.Women are expected to be at the service of the men since they are assumed to have been boughtTheir opinion does not matter,they suffer extreme violation,abuse,subjugation and cannot even have a sense of authorship over their lives.roora must not be considered as a commercial pursuit but a means to establish community.TERRIFIC INSIGHT I LOVED YOUR INTERPRETATION.