Cupid and quality time
I’m trying to imagine the following conversation actually taking place between a pair of passion-struck lovebirds: “Honey, guess what I got you for Valentine’s Day?” the man says with a dreamy gaze into his lover’s eyes. “What?” she gasps in excitement. “Tell me!” “The best present ever,” he continues. “I got you …more quality time!” At this point, the young woman is probably imagining that her man is going to whip out a velvet box containing a Swiss, diamond-crusted gold watch, coupled with the biggest bunch of red roses ever seen.
Ha! Dream on, sister. This man actually does mean more time – as in, his gift to you for the year is more time spent together in loving bliss. More time, and less money, spent.
When a friend of mine suggested this as the most romantic gift he could offer his girlfriend, I almost fell off my seat laughing at the thought of the repercussions.
“That’s the stuff of instant break-ups,” I warned him.
But somewhere in his questionable logic, my friend actually believes that he can successfully pull off his plan and get away with showing up doe-eyed and empty-handed on the one day of the year specifically set aside for love and romance.
Now, I know that women generally have a bad name as petty, opportunistic parasites that often thrive on the financial infirmities of males. Put simply, women are often perceived as being gold-diggers, mining the wealth out of men for their own gain. But I think even those among us, who don’t consider ourselves as such, would draw the line at a man’s attempt to pass off an abstract construct like time as a gift on an important day.
To me, that reeks of cheapness and laziness. Yes, this is Zimbabwe. And yes, times are rough (though I am always startled by how many of my fellow citizens move around clutching serious wads of American dollars in their wallets and purses). But even Cupid – the hopeless little romantic that he is – would wing his way all the way here just to angle and shoot one of his arrows into the behind of such a man.
Shame on him, I say for thinking that his suggestion even constitutes a feasible gift idea. A gift for a special day needs to be something that can perceived through the senses, something she can shake about in its wrapped box, trying to guess its contents; something she can excitedly catch a whiff of, like perfume or a well-cooked meal; something palpable.
Besides, we Zimbabweans live in curious times. We suffer much and sacrifice even more -dreams, memories and even hopes. If there is any group of people whom I expect out on the streets, painting the town red with passionate and compassionate love this February 14, it is us. For when all else has ravaged us – political intimidation, economic deflation, scourges of violence and disease and condemnation – all that has remained to console us is love.
And whether you are a traditionalist who believes that V-Day is a commercial gimmick, or a fervent but cash-strapped romantic, I say to you, “Make the effort, this year!”
Pluck a simple flower from an overgrown bush, be patriotic and buy a packet of Zimbabwe-manufactured toffee sweets, or make a simple card with a meaningful message. Whatever it may be, make sure you do something special for someone you love. Our recent history has taught us to value what we have now because we have learned in a cruel way that the future is often not for us to control.
And like I told my friend, I endorse once more, “Time is a precious gift which your loved ones will greatly appreciate. Give it to them throughout the year, but on this special day, give them something more. Give them something they can move around showing off with pride at your love for them. A cheap gold-plated chain that will rust in a few weeks time will do, if that is really all you can afford. It is the moment, the day, the joy of being celebrated that matters.”