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2am on Saturday. In my mind.

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Kubatana goes Inside/Out with one of Zimbabwe’s best protest poets, Comrade Fatso:

Describe yourself in five words?
Umm. Not sure. Sarcastic. Maybe?

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
Never interview a sarcastic poet.

What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever done?

Protest poetry in Zimbabwe.

What is your most treasured possession?
My wit. Sorry is that arrogant?

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Monday morning.

Do you have any strange hobbies?
Democracy. And Crocodile Fishing.

What do you dislike most about your appearance?

Sadza stains on my jeans after lunch.

What is your greatest extravagance?
Alcohol.

What have you got in your fridge?
Alcohol.

What is your greatest fear?
Alcohol.

What have you got in your pockets right now?
Alco.. Hold on. Umm.. Is this a security check?

What is your favourite journey?

One that entails a car, a road, no roadblocks, no motorcades and a destination with water. And alcohol.

Who are your heroes in real life?

Dambudzo Marechera, Linton Kwesi Johnson, Mbuya Nehanda, Fela Kuti. You really gotta be dead to be my hero in real life. But I make exceptions.

When and where were you happiest?

2am on Saturday. In my mind.

What’s your biggest vice?
Miami.

What were you like at school?
Like I am now but younger, broker and wearing a crappy red blazer.

What are you doing next?
Clicking ‘save’.

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