Just been reading posts about Clerk of Parliament Austin Zvoma apparently lamenting that Parliament will not be able to house all the 270 MPs – in the event that all of them attend!

This once again brings us back to what has always been said since independence that Zimbabwe cannot afford a huge government, and not only afford, but its population just does not require as many MPs, as many cabinet ministers, as many idiots masquerading as informed public servants when we all know that entry to parly has always been nothing but a road to never-before-imagined riches.

And now Zvoma is publicly admitting that the country has too many MPs.

Yet we know from past experience that many MPs ignored sittings anyway, which means space will always be there!

It would be laughable were the circumstances different.

NGOs and political parties complained when the delimitation exercise created more constituencies, and as usual, the criticism was that the created constituencies were designed to give Zanu PF unfair advantage as these had been created in imaginary Zanu PF strongholds.

Now that they have been elected, they realise they cannot all fit into the once august house.

Of course we are aghast!

During the last parliament, MPs spent more time whining about their allowances, demanding all sorts of absurd perks bent on fleecing an already wafer-thin fiscus, now with the new crop (or crap depending on which side you butter your bread) of MPs belonging to an outfit that has not hidden its insatiable hunger for the filthy lucre, it is not remiss to say the country can expect more of that hemorrhaging of its parlous resources in the name of national duty.

I am disgusted by the inconsiderate and divisive decisions that are being made to write off bills with ZESA and City of Harare. This is a very inhumane way of luring people to the dangerous trap of laziness and destroys good citizenship. Besides the economic dangers of forcing such a brainless policy in our local councils, here I will speak of the logical reasoning that is devoid of our authorities in writing off bills for residence.

The job of the government is to uplift the people and creating laziness and unfair treatment of its citizens is not part of it. My mother is unemployed but one thing that I know about her is that everyone in the house will only eat a decent meal after she has paid all her dues to the service providers. And this is how she is supposed to be acknowledged for her effort to stay within the confines of this country’s laws? So what is the government going to do with all these law abiding citizens that have been making sure that their bills have been paid in time? Are they trying to insinuate a point that these service providing institutions should not be respected and the new way of dealing with them is absconding bill payments because some political parties can take care of the bills? Are the good citizens going to feel as part of this system when the bad ones start bragging about how rewarding it is to be a free rider in this country?

Personally I take this initiative of scrapping off bills as an anti-people strategy which is only aimed at creating division and anger among people. Those remaining uncorrupted citizens are now quickly turned into the fast laned life of doing nothing but at the same time expecting much. I cannot stand to take in the fact that my parent has worked so hard to contribute to the well being of our societies and only to be belittled like this.

Government policies should be justifiable on a moral and fair basis and by any measure in the sight of a reasonable mind, writing off bills is just a way of rewarding criminals and persecuting good citizenship.

Someone mentioned over the weekend that they are yet to meet anyone who is ecstatic about the July 31 poll outcome. The guy was kinda pissed off that everyone he met was complaining about what they sense are the tough times that lie ahead.

He was a middle aged man headed for Gokwe and like many people I have listened to since the poll results were announced, his was a story of a litany of hardships he has lived through over the years and according to him, the rural folks where his old mother lives remain a miserable lot yet are the same folks who “voted overwhelmingly” for Zanu PF.

He told me that at one time, he told them that he was no longer going to assist them with any resources seeing the way they choose to vote! He seemed to have a point.

I am also yet to meet anyone beating their chest about Zanu PF’s victory, but still meeting someone saying that they have not met any Zanu PF supporter in a rural area where Zanu PF won celebrating was very telling.

This man is one of many who have lost faith in the whole idea of elections and so-called democratic processes whose outcomes apparently do not have to reflect popular sentiment. So why hold elections then?

Many folks are just walking like zombies and their confusion and frustration is written all over their faces. And it ain’t nothing to laugh about.

Of course the usual fools will say in any election there are winners and losers, that SADC leaders have “endorsed” the poll results, that inauguration in definitely on this week, but then the very fact that this inauguration will happen against what appears to be muted excitement from the people who allegedly voted for the continuation of bad governance could well mean there are some people who are hell bent on seeing chaotic scenes of protest.

Haven’t we already seen protests as young disgruntled urban youths rightfully feel they have been violated?

And it is the kind of stuff that makes you believe this is just what someone out there is baying for, after all, this country is ruled by people who do not bat an eyelid telling anyone they do not agree with they will punch you in the nose or they are going to shoot you the same way they shot whites back in the 1970s. Some country this is.

You do not need to be a physician to appreciate that so many people are now traumatized by the poll outcome and these unhappy family men and women could well fill any PTSD emergency room.

One only has to browse through social media sites where posts show that Zimbabweans have increasingly become very religious in the aftermath of the elections.

And indeed Zimbabweans are leaving everything to God, the same God others believe has given them the mandate to rule till eternity.

Over the weekend, an old man pointed me to large swathes of land in the Ngezi-Mhondoro area and explained how the landscape has changed over the years, how large herd of cattle disappeared, how land lies fallow, how small-holders in Gokwe have abandoned cotton farming because the state purchaser of this commodity offered these “peasants” peanuts. Recall that Gokwe was once celebrated as home to “white gold” as communities made small fortunes as cotton farmers.

You could only wonder if he was talking about the same country celebrating the success of land reform despite the same country importing maize from Zambia!

But then I only needed to recall the misery of tobacco farmers who each year complain that they bring their produce to Harare where they spend nights out in the open only to be offered ridiculous prices.

Like the other man said, he is yet to meet anyone who tells a different story about making a living out of the land, yet this is one of many things that get so many angry recalling that all hope they had for a fresh beginning was stolen along with the election.

But then, like the MDC has been advised, we should (very grudgingly) all move on…

‘Where in the world would you not want to work as a comedian?’ ‘Zimbabwe, North Korea and Pakistan, all dictator countries.’ – Ugandan comedian David Kibuka.

A few weeks ago, I found a leaking water pipe where I stay. I phoned a plumber, who came to look that very day, who reported that unfortunately the leak was below the meter – Which meant as a private plumber they weren’t allowed to do the work on the leak – I had to get in touch with City of Harare, as the leak was on their system.

The good news, I suppose, is that at least that meant there was a trickle of municipal water flowing through the system. The bad news was that I needed City of Harare to do the work.

After three weeks of phoning them several times each week, the City finally sent a crew round to take a look. They closed off the connection to the city water service, dug up the problematic pipe, and found it so corroded it practically crumbled when they lifted it out of the ground. But, they said, they couldn’t do anything more – They don’t have the material. So they left.

I phoned them again this morning to find out what to do now. We don’t have the material, I was told, but if you want us to do the work “chop chop” you can buy what we need and we can come do the work. If I have to buy the material myself, I asked, can I not just hire a private plumber to come and do the work? Nope – The problem is below the meter. So, I ask, I’m no plumber. How do I know what I need to get? We can come today to take another look and give you a list of supplies you can buy.

So, it takes three weeks for the City to come and address the problem in the first place. But coming to take a look to come up with a shopping list for a hostage resident is a same-day service.

Oh, and, it was very clear on the phone – They won’t pay me back for whatever I get.

Unfortunately, in a spirit of civic mindedness, I have been faithfully paying my council bills since 2009, so I won’t benefit from the write off of debts to the City. And, in all this time, my bill paying has resulted in sporadic rubbish collection, occasional patching of potholes (which doesn’t come anywhere close to addressing the dire state of our roads), street lights which don’t function, and a municipal water supply conspicuous by its absence. To add insult to injury, even as a rate payer, I don’t benefit from any investment in the city’s infrastructure – I have to buy my own material to ensure that the City will do work I am not allowed to contract a private plumber to do. Tell me again, what’s the incentive to continue to pay?