The latest installment of the not-so-funny comedy of errors plaguing Zimbabwe’s 31 July harmonised election. How’s this for outrageous? Read the press statement from RAU about the launch of their voters’ roll audit report being banned.

The Research and Advocacy Unit (RAU) intended to launch a detailed analysis of the Voters’ Roll this morning. This detailed audit comes in the wake of a preliminary report that RAU released on the 5th of July 2013.

RAU has had to cancel the launch of this report however because the Registrar General at 8.17a.m  left  an interdict at our offices from the High Court  to stop the event from going ahead at the Crowne Plaza the chosen venue, who were cited as the second Respondents and were served at 8.30am.

The Registrar General’s interdict is based on a misconception that we wanted to launch the voters roll, relying on an erroneous article by NEWSDAY published on the 16th of July 2013 which stated that RAU intended to launch a full voters’ roll. Instead of proceeding by way of an application interdicting us from launching our report, it would have taken a simple phone call from the Registrar General’s office to confirm that what we intended to launch was a report based on the Roll and not the Roll itself.

RAU wishes to clarify that it never intended to a launch a voters’ roll. RAU was going to launch an analysis done on the voters roll. In addition to the above, the Chairperson of ZEC and the Zimbabwe Electoral Commission are aware that RAU has been working on such an audit and ZEC had received and acknowledged receipt of the preliminary report.

RAU is deeply concerned with the fact that the order for an interdict was granted and the application was admitted and decided yet the Certificate of Urgency, which makes part of the Application was not signed as is required by law.

RAU also finds unprocedural and an abuse of the justice system and court process the fact that we were not served with the application when it was filed with the High Court and that we only received it at the same time as the Order for an Interdict was delivered to RAU.

I found a Zanu PF leaflet on Arcturus Road in in Harare East yesterday. I think it’s meant to be a serious political document but there are several Ha Ha moments worth sharing:

Apparently Zanu PF
a) has given us economic empowerment
b) youth empowerment
c) provided education for all
d) provided health for all
e) they’ve uplifted the position of a woman
f) are peace loving

Zanu PF will also never accept homosexuality.

They will also never accept something called beastialily (I think that’s a Polynesian cocktail).

Speaking of drinking, apparently Cde RG has taught us that clinging to generational unforgiveness is as foolish as drinking poison and waiting on someone else to die.

And, why should you vote for him? Well, he’s a job creator (apparently), we Zimbabweans enjoy human rights without disturbance, and Zanu PF guarantees economic prosperity.

Who writes this crap?

Increasingly, Zimbabwe’s political pulse is palpable everywhere, with one soldier the other day saying rather cynically, “do you have to wear a T-shirt to show which party you support? I know who I will vote for.”

And then he joined other colleagues in lamenting the state of the nation.

It was obvious what he was talking about.

Yet one continues to hear uncorroborated claims that the security forces are fully behind the revolutionary party.

Could be true, but then “security forces” is too broad.

What we however know for certain is that it is the vultures who have stripped the land of its wealth, who have built mansions, who have enjoyed overseas trips while privates (sic) and corporals who know damn well they will never be homeowners, have become the laughing stock of an equally impoverished population.

Never mind that back in the 1980s being a soldier was envied as a well-salaried career of choice.

I recall as young boys back in the day envying the local older lads who had joined the military and from whom we came to know “tinned beef,” a type of food that was enough to convince young minds that being a soldier was “the life!”

You see, these soldiers always brought home tinned beef “from work” and it seemed so exciting that you could carry a gun in hand and tinned beef in the other, talk about romanticizing the army life!

I sniggered the other day when a colleague’s four year old daughter was reciting stuff she had learnt at kindergarten and when she arrived at the “when I grow up” part said with the innocence of a child: “when I grow up I want to be a soldier.”

I recalled how young men from Matebeleland have shunned recruitment to the barracks over the years, with impassioned pleas from Zanu PF political leaders in the region for the young Matebeles to join in the fight to protect the country’s sovereignty. These please have fallen on deaf ears!

Thus it is that the special vote count will be eagerly watched, and it would be interesting that the rioting cops were actually determined to keep the status quo!

This homeless man can sometimes be seen shouting at the sky near the traffic lights at Addington Lane. This morning he was sleeping on one of the grass islands on Borrowdale Road – Mugabe’s route to work.

The Zimbabwe Election Support Network (ZESN) continues to raise concerns about incredible flaws that have come to define preparations for the 31 July elections, with the Zimbabwe Electoral Commission being exposed as unacceptably unprepared for an exercise of this magnitude.

And these have already cast doubts about the credibility of the poll, not only from CSOs, but perhaps more interestingly from some political parties who themselves are in this contest.

On 15 July, ZESN issued a press statement that highlighted the huge task ahead that still has to be done for the country to avoid yet another disputed poll outcome and all this in the next two weeks!

The “special vote” that has been widely publicised for its chaos has become the pointer of the worst that could happen on the 31 st July, with ZESN noting that “during the two days of the special voting, ZESN observers deployed at all special voting polling centres noted that the process was marred by serious logistical challenges countrywide. ZESN notes that the process continues to be disorganised an indication that ZEC was unprepared to conduct the special voting process.”

It stands to reason that if ZEC struggled with 60,000 voters, what then about the millions eligible to vote on 31 July, and this is surely a legitimate concern recalling that some members of the uniformed forces went berserk after frustrations ran high because of delays to allow them to vote.

Interesting that it is the riot police known for their brute force in dealing with civilians from soccer fans to WOZA who were called in to control their “riotous” colleagues!

ZESN noted that “on Sunday 14 July 2013, ZESN observers reported challenges that included the late opening of polling stations, shortage of sensitive voting materials such as indelible ink, ZEC stamps, approved voters’ lists, ballot papers and ballot boxes.”

Imagine the millions of people who are eagerly waiting for the 31 st July being frustrated by these logistical nightmares, the riot police will surely be kept busy, and we all know the favoured weapons of these brutal cops.

“ZESN is seriously concerned that the chaos that prevailed during the special voting process serves as a telling and worrying indicator that could repeat itself on 31 July,” ZESN said.

And it is not just ZESN concerned but all progressives who want to a see a smooth process despite all the stacks against this rushed election.

Many indeed see these elections as a chance for the country’s renewal from years of pillaging and intolerance by the “founding fathers”, but it is certain there are just too many spanners that are deliberately being thrown into the works by the usual suspects.