In my mind this is not only an entirely legitimate request, it’s also an essential one, that is, of course, if the Unity Government believes ‘the people’ count:

The National Constitutional Assembly (NCA) is filing an urgent High Court application this morning seeking an extension of the referendum date which was gazetted on Friday 15 February 2013. The government set the 16th of March 2013 for the conduct of the referendum were Zimbabweans will be asked to vote YES or NO for the draft constitution.

The NCA is seeking an extension of at least two months for the conduct of the referendum counting from the day gazetted by government. We strongly feel that Zimbabweans should be given adequate time to scrutinise the draft constitution and be allowed to make an informed decision on what they will be voting for.

We view this move to have the referendum on the 16th of March as a ploy by the parties in government to deny Zimbabweans a chance to scrutinise the flawed and undemocratic draft which they authored.

Further we wish to dismiss the ridiculous proclamations by the government that they will be distributing only 100 000 copies of the draft, and yet Zimbabwe has a population of more than 13 million people.

We recently asked our audience to let us know what they thought the job description for the new Pope might look like. Here’s our favourite:

Description: CEO, Rome Inc

Job Description

1. To head the biggest property empire on the globe, including 20% of Italian real estate but also built upon various sources of wealth such as looted Jewish funds, stolen Inca gold, appropriated goods of various heretics, the weekly fleecing of one billion sheep, etc.
2. Maintain the integrity of the Articles of Association (referred to as “The Bible”) but to change these if and when expediency demands.
3. Ensure the population of the world continues to explode by ensuring your shareholders avoid contraception even if it costs them their lives.
4. Maintain the poverty and ignorance of the flock since knowledge is the source of all evil.
5. Deny evolution even if you think it might be true. Remember Galileo, Newton, Darwin – all scientists are heretics and enemies, except the “useful idiot” types who profess both faith and science.
6. Maintain the subservience of women – they are breeding vessels for the holy seed of Man. But you must not lie with them because they will defile you. Yes, that doesn’t make sense – get used to it: there’s more like that.
7. Protect your staff at all costs (eg relocation of child rapists, pregnant nuns, etc) except for errant bank staff who may be left dangling.
8. Maintain an extensive library of porn and other literature that should not be seen by anyone else.

Qualifications
- Male, (with two testicles – we will check after that unfortunate incident some years ago. If you fool us and we find out, we will be very very cross and you will be very very burnt)
- Age: over 16 but please, don’t make us laugh! Don’t bother unless you are over 70 but 80+ is no worry. No retirement age (yes, we know he just did but that was a surprise, okay) and we prefer it if you die on the job since it reduces the mess – what can you do with an ex-pope?

Previous Experience
Preferably a previous member of the inner circle called “cardinals” (because, you know, they are, like, numero duo dudes waiting and waiting for the main chance) but this is not essential. Should be a Catholic but you can convert  if your application is successful.

Sexual Orientation: hey, if you have to ask … absolutely no LGBTs. Celibacy is a good thing but if you have a wife on the side and some rugrats, make sure the media do not hear about it, especially you Africans, we know celibacy is not in your culture. Choirboys are available as needed but remember what happened to Leo X.

Belief: not essential but a plus if you know the texts and can recite them without smiling. You can be fallible but once you make a decision, no-one may question it even if it is wrong, so relax – being Pope means never having to say you are sorry.

Politics: so you think Mussolini was left-wing? Hitler was a pussy? – you’re our guy. Must be socially conservative but able to spin cant and dogma into something deeply spiritual and meaningful.

Denialism is a must: remember “No” is your motto.

Languages: Italian, but GCSE Latin a plus.

Computer skills: of course not, don’t be silly.

Dress Code: yes, you have to wear the dress but you know that already having been a cardinal. Funny hats a must.

Salary: No, but you won’t need one, we pay for it all.

Location: Vatican, numerous palaces and properties around the world, “where do you want to go today?”

Perks: travel to exotic lands and wave at millions of adoring fans, free helicopter rides, nuns, jewellery  good art collection, funny car, cool dudes to protect you, did we mention the choirboys?

Do not phone us or twitter or Facebook for this job.

SOUTHERN AFRICAN POLITICAL ECONOMY SERIES
POLICY DIALOGUE FORUM

When: Tuesday 19 February, 2013
Time: 5pm – 7pm
Venue: SAPES Seminar Room, 4 Deary Avenue, Belgravia, Harare

THE SHOCKING ‘O’ LEVEL RESULTS: WHAT ARE THE CAUSES AND WHAT ARE THE SOLUTIONS?

Presenter: David Coltart, Minister of Education, Sport, Art and Culture
Discussants: Raymond Majongwe, Secretary General, Progressive Teachers’ Union of Zimbabwe;
Letwina Ndanga, Educationist

Chair: Ruvimbo Chimedza, Chairperson, TEACH

ALL WELCOME

SAPES Seminar Club Membership Forms available at seminar.

Feel free to visit our website at www.sapes.org.zw

With all eyes and ears on the Constitutional Referendum this statement published today by ZESN is worth a read:

The Zimbabwe Election Support Network (ZESN) notes that the referendum date has been penciled for 16 March 2013, a date which is literally in four weeks’ time. This raises serious concerns about citizens having a meaningful opportunity to learn about the draft constitution and to make an informed choice. The date also raises questions about the Zimbabwe Electoral Commission (ZEC) having sufficient time to organize a credible referendum consistent with laws of Zimbabwe as well as Southern African Development Community (SADC) and international principles and guidelines governing the conduct of democratic elections. The political decision to hold the referendum undermines the ability of the ZEC to enhance its capacity to conduct the election or strengthen its credibility with stakeholders and this might be a missed opportunity.

Further, ZESN is concerned that the referendum date was set before the draft was published in the government Gazette. In addition, citizens are yet to examine and study the draft as copies have not yet been availed to the public and plans for civic education by COPAC have not yet been implemented. ZESN also realizes that the proposed date will have the potential to disturb the already shortened school calendar given that most of the polling stations are normally located in schools and most teachers also serve as polling officials.

In addition ZESN notes that the announcement of the referendum date comes just 24 hours after the departure of the Chairperson of the ZEC Justice Simpson Mutambanengwe. In the past few years ZEC under the leadership of Justice Mutambanengwe has made strides in engaging stakeholders in a number of activities such as consultative meetings to strengthen synergies and relations. It is however sad to note that the time and energy that the institute and the government have invested in the Chairperson has been wasted particularly given that the resignation comes in an election year.

We urge that a new ZEC Chairperson be identified and approved expeditiously. According to the Electoral Amendment Act, 2012, Section 100B (1)(a) a chairperson is appointed by the President in consultation with the Judicial Service Commission and the Parliamentary Committee on Standing Rules and Orders. Further, subsection (2) stipulates that “The chairperson of the Zimbabwe Electoral Commission must be a judge or former judge of the Supreme Court or the High Court, or a person qualified for appointment as such a judge.” ZESN hopes that this process results in the speedy appointment of a credible chair to steer the Commission.

The Network remains dedicated to the promotion of democratic elections in Zimbabwe. As such despite serious reservations ZESN will continue to watch the unfolding of the political developments in the country and provide independent non-partisan information on the electoral processes to the public, civil society, policy makers, political parties and electoral authorities. ZESN reiterates that Zimbabwe cannot afford to have anything but credible and legitimate elections as it transits from the Government of National Unity (GNU).