As I brace myself for another job hunt in trying times, I am reminded of the first job I got in Edinburgh. Scouring the classifieds, I came across an advert for a marketing position “no experience required” (that should’ve tipped me off right there) and I duly applied with naïve enthusiasm. On my first day, I arrived early, smartly kitted out in my sharp business suit and heels (yes, I do own a pair). No one was around but I could hear loud shouts and clapping and cheers from the basement. I later learnt that this was a daily ritual to get all the “marketers” psyched before hitting the road for the day. At the appointed hour I was handed 2 large duffel bags and a “minder” to show me the ropes. On the job training, excellent. We spent the rest of the day schlepping our bags around the city, alternating between taking the bus and walking. One vicious old duck on the bus pointed a bony finger at us and said loudly “you’re no better than thieves”.

I made my debut mid-afternoon, when my mentor thought I was ready – or maybe he just chickened out, in a bar filled with merry men that had obviously been drinking for several hours, if indeed, they had ever stopped. I was trying to sell battery operated hopping, optimistic – more of a shuffle really – obviously not related to the Duracell family of bunnies, Easter bunnies – 8 days after Easter. You can let your imagination run wild at this point.

At the end of the day my feet were in agony, so glad to have worn heels, and my humiliation was complete when I got lost trying to get home. I think I started crying as soon as Graham opened the door. Needless to say, I did not return for day 2!

So I feel some sympathy – empathy would be presumptuous – then for the Jehovah Witnesses that go door to door, trying to spread the Good Word. The abuse heaped on them must be truly eviscerating. I went on a tour of Dachau concentration camp, a working camp rather than an extermination camp, several years ago, and learnt many interesting things – the relevant one here: many JW’s were imprisoned at Dachau (amongst opposition politicians, artists, homosexuals, gypsies and academics), and to regain their freedom all they had to do was sign a document renouncing their faith. There is no record of a single JW ever having signed such a document at Dachau. I find that inspiring.

The South African Reserve bank has issued a new series of banknotes that personify South Africa’s former president Nelson Mandela. The new notes feature the image of former president Nelson Mandela on the front of the notes and, on the reverse side, images of South Africa’s Big Five – rhino, elephant, lion, buffalo and leopard. The denominations of the notes are 10, 20, 50 100 and 200.

Barack and Mitt rivals for the US presidency will never get to stay in the White House together but in Kenya they will live together. A young mother in Kenya has named her newborn twins Barack Obama and Mitt Romney. Some have claimed the mum wants to bask in two-minutes of glory. Some speculate that Mitt will be bullied all his life. What are you views on this?

Imagine making monthly pension contributions for six years and when you try to claim your pension from your insurance company you get a $20 bill on the spot as a once off payment. I was reading with great concern an article published in The Herald of 9 November 2012 on the feud between pensioners and insurance companies. Pensioners in Zimbabwe continue to suffer in silence as insurance companies reap big. The economic meltdown orchestrated by the hyperinflation environment of the 2008 era gave insurance companies some reasons to get away with it. To say that contributions were wiped out by inflation without considering value of the policies pre-inflation era somehow is tantamount to day light robbery. Some of these insurance companies invested in immovable assets, which appreciate in value and for the record, these insurance companies’ own most commercial buildings in city centers and they charge exorbitant rentals.

The paltry payments are not even enough to foot the transport bill for an ordinary person traveling from Gwanda to Harare, where most of these insurance companies are located, to make a claim. With no source of income, and having reached retirement age, most pensioners are left with no option but to accept the peanuts on offer from the insurance companies. This daylight robbery also left depositors penniless when banks failed to account for depositors’ money after Zimbabwe began using the American dollar; up to now it’s still a blame game between commercial banks and the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe.

The three Counselling Services Unit (CSU) staff who were arrested Monday in Harare and transferred to Bulawayo have finally been released on bail. They’ve been charged with causing malicious damage to property, and now have to report at Harare Central weekly pending trial.

A Zimbabwe Lawyers for Human Rights statement reports:

According to State prosecutor Marlvin Nzombe, the three CSU representatives together with some unidentified individuals smeared some MDC graffiti on an information centre located in Mpopoma high density suburb in Bulawayo 07 October 2012 in contravention of Section 140 of the Criminal Law (Codification and Reform) Act. The State claimed that the CSU senior staff members inscribed the words “MDC” and “MDC Chinja Ndizvo” on a bill board and on a durawall surrounding the information centre.

Seriously? Three nights in detention over some graffiti. And graffiti that the people you’ve arrested clearly had absolutely nothing to do with?

Let me get this straight:

You raid my office, intimidate my clients, threaten us with tear gas, steal my computer, find some spray paint I bought in July, decide this MUST be the VERY SAME SPRAYPAINT used in Bulawayo in October, arrest me, lock me up for three nights, move me to Bulawayo in an open truck, handcuff me, take my glasses, and finally release me.

Whereupon I have to pay you $100, give you my passport, and am obliged to come see you in town every Monday for who knows how long.

All because someone in some city more than 350 kilometres from where I live sprayed some graffiti that you don’t like. Where is the recourse here? You mess me around for no apparent reason, and I have to pay you for the privilege of it?

Honestly. Even as I write it, it doesn’t make sense. You wouldn’t believe it if you read it in a book or saw it in a movie. So why do we let our police force indulge in such absurdity?