“Fidel Castro celebrated his 85th birthday outside of the public spotlight… with little fanfare around the aging revolutionary,” thus it was reported 13 August. Different strokes for different folks.

Yes, it is entitled “the accident”, and I have tried but can’t seem to bring myself to think about the detail of my husband’s accident, 4 weeks ago today, let alone put it on paper. So much for the therapeutic benefits of writing. So we shall just put it on the back burner for a while (don’t hold your breath).

I played golf yesterday afternoon with my family. Needless to say, my son and husband took me to the cleaners. I was going to say they put me to shame, but let’s not rub it in. My son is 4 and my husband played with one hand (his left).  My daughter bowed out gracefully early on, after several swipes at the ball. The poor sod has inherited my lack of ball skills and athletic talent. I don’t know whether to warn her now that she will always be in the snail race at sports day, with the overweight people, and will inevitably be selected for tug-of-war simply because everyone will feel she is being left out. I didn’t display any of my daughter’s dignity and continued to slog away for 9 holes. With age has come a certain perseverance … gritted teeth, clenched jaw … I will not be outsmarted by a damn ball @$#%!

But the sky was blue, we saw lots of birds, and I only lost 3 balls. My husband, Graham eventually suggested teeing off from the other side of the water. In my case it was a case of “see water – must make splash”. It was instinctive, I just couldn’t fight it.

This morning I find myself miraculously free of aches and pains. I’m so proud – this MUST mean I’m fitter! But watch, tomorrow I will be unable to brush my teeth!

I wonder sometimes at the choices of people in positions of power Our Dear Leader has made. It would be myopic to place the entire burden of responsibility for our economic and social quagmire on his shoulders. Yet, surely the man who answers to no one when making these appointments must bear a large portion of the blame.

Having had to assemble my own crack team for a project recently, I am beginning to understand the difficulties of placing the right person in the right position, and, trusting that person to do their job the way I wish it done. Sometimes I am disappointed, and sometimes it works out. Having a relationship with that person makes it difficult to criticise them, especially when there is always an excuse for work that is not done properly.

Today’s Newsday reports that while speaking at the funeral of Rtd. General Mujuru Our Dear Leader ‘conceded he was surrounded by wannabes and corrupt people, but admitted there was nothing he could do to stop the virus.’ The article goes on to say that he is becoming increasingly lonely following the deaths of his closest comrades.

While Our Dear Leader is only a man, and an old man at that, he cannot be everywhere to watch everyone at once, despite what the ZANU PF Women’s and Youth Leagues would have us believe. That is the purpose of organisation and bureaucracy, but even the soundest strategy can fail without adequate leadership at every level. In many respects it is a case of letting things get out of hand, and for that he is solely to blame. In the terms of his own paternal metaphor: a father is supposed to punish his children when they do wrong, not reward them with more trips abroad, more power, a continued stay in office, and protection from would-be opponents.

Our Dear Leader is in his twilight now, a time for much reflection. If gossip and rumour are to be believed, he is making plans for an exit strategy, but in whose hands will he place the burden of steering Zimbabwe and the party into the future? Who will replace him in executing his vision? Even those who are quickest to point to his failings, have themselves failed in this regard.  The leaders of organisations to whom we would entrust with safeguarding us against avaricious and power-hungry party and government officials are themselves afflicted with the very same demons. The MDCs, with their factionalism, and embarrassing public infighting, can hardly claim the moral high ground. Civil society is not blameless either, with founder-directors refusing to vacate office to make way for a renewal of ideas.

Our leaders regardless of where their spheres of influence lie are afraid of change, and ironically it is those who have the loudest voices in calling for it that are most afraid. As many have said before me, ours is a crisis of leadership. But as a society, we should look to ourselves before we point to the failings of our leaders. Our leaders reflect who we are; if they are corrupt it is because we allow them to be so. If they are avaricious it is because we allow them to take from us without raising a single voice.

The first edition of Tedx was launched in Harare under the name Tedx Harare. This independently organised event was packed with interesting speakers, music performances and Tedtalk videos. The idea of TED started 25 years ago in USA to create spaces for idea sharing and discussions. And finally it has now reached Zimbabwe.

The speakers included some of Zimbabwe’s researchers, entrepreneurs and artists and they all lived up to expectations with inspirational and stimulating performances and presentations. The presentations created an environment where everything was just free from any political and religious agenda. Zimbabwe is awash with so much talent that it begs the question how and where we are getting it wrong as a country. Among the most inspirational presentations was the one done by researcher and academic Oswald Jumira. Oswald explored and shared ideas on how we can make technology work for the next generation and us. He talked on how technology creates challenges, which can be turned into opportunities and make our country move forward and compete in the global village. In the presentation he emphasized the need for government, companies and individuals to invest in technology since it strengthens the future of the next generation.

In one of the Tedtalk videos, Chimamanda Adichie explores the Danger of a Single Story. This Tedtalk got me thinking especially on the way news is reported in Zimbabwe by different newspapers and organisations in mainstream media. A good example of the danger of a single story is how election campaigning in Zimbabwe has caused a lot of stereotyping among citizens. One lesson to learn from this presentation is not to make early judgements on a particular situation or story and not to work on assumptions. This was a wonderful way of educating people about the single story perspective.

Live music performances during the breaks from Tina Watyoka added more life to the event. The other presenters who left the audiences with questions and inspirational answers included Max Soutter and Sarah Norman.

The next edition Tedx Harare is expected to be bigger with more speakers coming to share their ideas and innovative skills with the people of Zimbabwe.

Had an good and interesting few weeks. Good places to go (Matopos), good meetings (different people), good meals (chocolate pudding), good conversations (some senior people), good listening (very outspoken, very un-Zimbabwean), and good information (some people just ‘know’ things), and some very trustworthy (old acquaintances).

So some of the things said, and realised, bear repeating.

“Why did you leave the MDC?” “Because it used to be a movement.” And it is claimed,by the questioner, that it still is. But I really do not think so anymore. So many contrary indications.

I remember as the Caucus assistant secretary for the MDC City Councillors, when Mudzuri was Mayor (exectuive, not ceremonial). That is, I was allowed to do all the work. I took the minutes of the MDC councillors meetings (i.e not the City of Harare meetings, but the meetings of the political party at that level meetings). I realised, and we all said, “Makwavarara, she is a problem”. So I wrote letters to the party. All the levels, all the bosses. Femai, the Province Secretary. Chaibva, the shadow Local Government minister.

And I was told, “Ah Laban, you are fighting the wrong enemy”.

Then, Muduzuri was fired (as we all were in the end), and Makavarara took over as Mayor. Murambatsvina followed, and the official MDC response, “Ah, we did not know!”

So, they are a bunch of liars. That is to say, politicians (since all politicians are liars). Moreover, the aim is, as any political partie’s should be, to gain power. The enemy is not ‘corruption’, the enemy is Zanu PF (the other big political party). I was fighting the wrong enemy. But then, I thought the MDC was a movement. They will tell us, in their round about political way, Once we are in power, we can then stop corruption”. This may be true, but one must not forget, they are politicians (and therefore liars).

And then out comes the Mail and Guardian with the front page headline, “Tsvangirai At TheTrough”. So it seems I am not the only one who believes they have left their movement roots, and become a political party. Seeking power, not change. Perhaps a change in who benefits from power, but not a change in the benefits.

So, how is it a movement anymore? They are just a bunch of chefs. New chefs. The Ceremonial Mayor of Harare earns a big salary every month, someone said. Ministers all have new cars. And deputy ministers. And permanent secretaries. And nice cars at that (but even then, they cannot make them last more than a couple of years without major pay offs for repairs). So it would certainly seem the new chefs are not part of a movement for a change of the system. Just a change of the beneficiaries. And Budiriro remans with unhealthy water.

So, while the time has come to criticise them as one would any lying political party, (the joke about nappies and political parties in not a joke) I will still support them as making a change – any change, will lead to less concentration of power. And I will continue to predict, “two years”. Two years and Zanu PF (the losing party, the former ruling party) will be ‘the other’ big political party. This will be good. But certainly not the answer. Two political parties is a step towards the answer. But the answer is DEMOCRACY, not the MDC. So I will continue to work for popular involvement at the local government level. Perhaps not so far as Obote, who banned political parties, but I like his thinking. Along the right lines.

I’ve just heard a jet scream past overhead. Perhaps it’s a fly-over as part of the funeral parade for the late ret. Gen. Solomon Mujuru.

Since his death earlier this week, I’ve been carrying in my head the Shona expression, wafawanaka. It equates to the English language notion that one should not speak ill of the dead.

On Tuesday morning, Kubatana sent out a text message informing our subscribers about Mujuru’s death. At the time, details were sketchy as the full story was only just coming out. But we sent out a message with the basic details, and received the expected handful of condolence messages in response.

Perhaps, in part, this is because Mujuru was genuinely as respected as he was feared. But a blog post by Mathula Lusinga today caught my eye: Why is everyone good when they die? “Mujuru the good”?

Mathula asks Zimbabweans to reflect honestly about both the positive and negative impacts Mujuru may have had on the country. But importantly he also challenges the notion that once someone dies those who remain behind lose the right to be critical about the deceased. It’s a comment worth contemplating not solely in connection with Mujuru, but for all of us left reflecting on those who have died before us.

In life, none of us are all good or all bad. We battle our various issues and challenges, make our various decisions, and make our mark accordingly. If our friends and family are honest with us, they’ll tell us both what they love and value about us, and what we do that drives them crazy. No one is perfect when they’re alive. So why must the memories of the deceased which we share be only positive? If I cling to the notion that one can’t speak ill of the dead, surely I do so at the expense of my own critical intelligence, reflection and expression.