I was at an entrepreneurship course and I learnt something that I think can be applied in all aspects of life, be it in business, your everyday relations or the way you want to go about in life. It is so bad to let life just float away without putting value in it. My sister always says put value in it. For example when you sing – how much is each note worth? If you are going to speak to people how much are they going to draw from you? Today I want to add value to you by giving you a few pointers that I got from my two-day workshop.

If you want to be a good negotiator you must know how to say No. Yes you can say No for a lot of positive reasons. Saying No as a negotiator opens a door for more negotiations, it helps you to know more about your counterpart and it helps you to modify your position accordingly. So Yes I am going to show you ways how you can say No positively!

You can say

1.    Not here
2.    Not you
3.    Not me
4.    Not now
5.    Not that much
6.    Not that little
7.    Not again
8.    Not that
9.    Not ever

These positive No’s’ give you time in any place that you are in to take time and weigh your options. You can quickly say yes and find out that you have devalued yourself or perhaps you have over valued yourself. When that happens you either lose out on a potentially good business deal or you might be viewed as that person always saying yes and wanting to be everybody’s friend.

Its okay to say No just say it in a more tactful way and you will be amazed how many positive days you will have.

Children deserve their rights of expression, association, education and care among others. However countries differ in how they balance a child’s rights and the parents’ and caregivers’ rights to discipline in the name of protecting and nurturing.

Parents and caregivers, including teachers, who constitute elders in society, have some degree of control over children. However for the control to be enforceable there is supposed to be a degree of conventional allegiance on the part of children. In Shona culture any elder has the right to control and discipline a child based on the saying: “Mwana ndewe munhu wese” – meaning a child belongs to everyone. At the same time children are obliged to respect and obey elders in society. This is meant to ensure that children are put under control irrespective of the presence or absence of their parents.

This form of communal responsibility over children has a basic assumption that “every elder is equally responsible and caring for all young children”. It is not surprising therefore that in some communities, if an elder disciplines a child, the parent is not quick to get angry unless there is evidence that the child has not done anything wrong or unless the punishment is excessively abusive. This trend has changed in modern societies, with parents claiming responsibility of their own children and claiming all rights. Governments are also gradually reducing even the parents’ rights. For instance, beating children by parents or caregivers is illegal in many countries.

This does not come without a reason; there is general understanding that the “Mwana ndewe munhu wese” adage does not hold water anymore. There are abusive elements in contemporary society, robbers, rapists and kidnappers among others. Obviously one cannot cede rights to discipline a child to everyone in such communities.  Some parents have also joined the abusive element by raping, killing and harassing their own children.

Does this however justify the stance that teachers and parents should not discipline children? Children are being increasingly protected against abuse, however children happen to abuse the rights, in a manner that apparently threatens their safety and future, yet parents, teachers and other caregivers are continuously having little or no powers to foster discipline.

We are looking forward to the government, youth organisations, and parents to properly define how far we should take the right to discipline, balancing children’s rights as well as fostering the authority of parents and caregivers in a bid to ensure the necessary allegiance in environments like schools and other communities.