The constant hoopla around Zuma’s polygamy really is getting exhausting; with journos shifting attention to what he is up to each time they are suffering the diary draught. It has become nothing short of selling tabloid headlines. Can’t they get it through their thick heads? The man said it loud and clear – much to the indignation of feminists and gender activists – it is his (Zulu) culture, and the problem with most of us is indeed “thinking that our cultures are far more superior to those of others”. What Zuma is doing is to be expected, those are some of the hazards of having a clown for a president.

My bone of contention is; are the women involved in all this being oppressed? Have any of them been forced into marriage by this lunatic? Are not the majority of them young, pretty and educated but found jostling amongst themselves to be the next best lady? Do they not make public appearances next to the imposing Zulu President all smiley and beaming with self-importance and contentment?  Why are they being made to look like the victims? I mean so what if he has just fathered his 20th child and married his umpteenth wife? Though old-fashioned, the man can afford it for Pete’s sake and it is clearly not illegal in his country? In any case, those children are lucky at all to be born of the President of the most powerful country in Sub Saharan Africa.

I agree the man has a strangely colossal libido, is possibly a paraphiliac, a fool and whatever else the media choose to label him, but I think the fascination with Zuma’s polygamy deserves nothing more than the attention of National Geographic to ‘Africa’s Strangest’. The media are having a field day and the feminists have developed a serious bone to chew, yet the Swazi King Mswati leaves the most polygamous green with envy and for him, marrying is an annual exploit. His father before him had 70 wives by the time of his death too.

If anything, the only sad thing I find about Zuma’s actions is the fact that he claims he loves all his women equally. I feel a certain amount of pity for his first wife, the rotund (read solid) MaKhumalo – who clearly looked unhappy alongside her husband during his inauguration as President of South Africa. It is common knowledge that this woman rarely appears in public, let alone at the arm of her husband. One could almost guess what was going through her mind – probably that her being taken along for this auspicious occasion was just for show: Zuma, the family man who respects his first wife. God only knows he would have preferred to make that grand appearance with one of the younger ‘trophies’ as the young men here would say it.

This – my colleagues is the battle of the ” Desperate First Wives”, and they are all vying for the title of first lady. From the South African Foreign Affairs Minister Nkosazana Dlamini Zuma to the youngest (and currently prettiest) wife Nompumelelo Ntuli, I can tell you, none of then went kicking and screaming to their Umshado wesiZulu (Zulu wedding). New word on the street has it that Zuma has impreganted another youngling, and she is none other than businessman Irvin Khoza’s daughter! I daresay the media spotlight must beam on these women; they are the bigger fools for embarrassing themselves and allowing themselves to be treated in this way. Who are they, what makes them tick, what made powerful people like themselves fall for this man? Just what was it for each one of them – wealth, fame? Trust me; that would make interesting reading and ‘news’ for a change.

The way Investigative Zim sees it is that; either South Africa is reinventing the concept of political morality and public responsibility among its leaders, or something is seriously wrong with the presidency and the nation just hasn’t woken up to it yet. I shant say more.

According to an article in the Mail & Guardian last week, “donors have stepped in with an estimated USD 74-million in seed packs and fertiliser,” to help Zimbabwe through a long dry spell and the threat of a poor harvest this year. An estimated two million people will need food aid this year, and so the UN has issued a USD 378-million appeal to assist them.

At the same time, the Constitutional reform process needs at least USD 43-million to be completed. Foreign governments such as the US, European Union and Australia have pledged their assistance for this.

In 2007, Gideon Gono estimated that Zimbabwe was losing USD 50-million per month through gold and diamond smuggling. Given the size of the alluvial field at Marange, this figure could be even higher if the diamonds had been professionally, and commercially, extracted – not just smuggled out of the country.

With just ten months of properly managed diamond income, Zimbabwe could be addressing all of the costs listed above. Even if the country chose not to spend the money on these matters, an extra USD 600-million worth of income for the coming year is nothing to sniff at – it’s more than a quarter of Zimbabwe’s national budget.

So, as essential as things like food aid are to protect vulnerable Zimbabweans, and as important as a genuine, inclusive, responsive constitutional reform process is for Zimbabwe’s future, what is the role of donor aid in perpetuating bad governance, and the mismanagement of natural resources like diamnds, in Zimbabwe.

In our Kubatana email newsletter last week, we asked When should an election that respects the will of the people be held, and what needs to be in place before that happens?

Farai, a loyal subscriber from Chipinge responded today saying:

One way or the other, writing of a people’s driven constitution is not possible since ZANU PF and its structures are intact, moreso, militia and loyal uniformed forces are now on the ground in areas such as Zaka District. The option on its own, would make the demagogues get up to 2013 in offices and acquiring all required terminal benefits since the office terms would be accomplished in disguise. Option B of having UNO supervised elections would be rather better for it would not be time buying and wastage of  resources on the expense of the natives at large. May AU allow us to bypass SADC as to map new hope in the country?

The postal service attached a short note to a parcel that we got in the post recently. They apologised for the “dirty state” of the envelope being delivered to us. Inside was the much awaited book, SMS Uprising: Mobile Activism in Africa published by Pambazuka Press. Never mind the fact that our copy is a bit buckled and battered it makes for an incredibly interesting read and not just because Kubatana and our very own Amanda Atwood is featured in it! Sokari Ekine has done a fabulous job editing a series of essays on mobile activism and we urge you to get a copy.

Anne Perkins writing on guardian.co.uk described SMS Uprising as a “book that will help explain how mobile phones can be used in the field to anyone daunted by technology.” She went on to say that “theory is one thing: but where these essays really come alive is in the descriptions of projects that have already worked.” And she cites Kubatana as an example of one of these projects.

Read more here

On Kubatana’s home page we feature an article entitled Conversations with Christopher Mlalazi. Christopher is a talented Zimbabwean writer and theatre producer. We’ve just had word from him that one of his plays will be featured in this year’s Harare International Festival of the Arts (HIFA). Here is some news from Christopher and a teaser from the play called Election Day.

I have just returned from the Harare International Festival Of The Arts workshops on writing and directing for theatre, where I developed one of my plays titled ELECTION DAY, which will be premiered at HIFA 2010 (April), under the HIFA-DIRECT project.  The play is going to be directed by Eunice Tava, a seasoned actress and director.  The cast is still yet to be selected, but that is Eunice’s baby.  The play ELECTION DAY is an adaption of one of my short stories which was first published in the 2004 Edinburgh Review, and then was later published in my short story collection DANCING WITH LFE; TALES FROM THE TOWNSHIP, which won the 2009 NAMA AWARD for BEST FIRST PUBLISHED CREATIVE WORK, and was also given the Honourable Mention in the 2009 NOMA AWARD FOR BOOK PUBLISHING IN AFRICA.  Please find below a teaser from the play, and if you can, please come to HIFA 2010 to watch it. We are also looking for opportunity to show the play around the world after HIFA, and if you think you can link us, please be welcome.

ELECTION DAY

Scene 1

Enter the Director Of Vote Counting, Juda.  He is dressed in a suit and is entering a toilet.  He is also holding a clipboard with papers on it. He goes to the urinary, and pees with his back to the audience.  As he is peeing, enter Twenty walking stealthily and casting looks over his shoulder.  He is also dressed in suit and tie.  He comes to a stop beside Juda. Twenty is not peeing but is standing facing the audience.

Twenty:           How goes it now?

Juda:               It is even worse now Twenty.

Juda stops peeing, closes his zip and turns around to face Twenty.  He quickly writes on a piece of paper and hands the paper to Twenty.  Twenty quickly looks at the paper.

Twenty:           O God no!

Juda:               And don’t say you got that from me, this is highly confidential information.

Twenty:           I won’t Juda, and thanks.

Twenty takes some money from his pocket and hands it to Juda.  Juda quickly takes the money and puts it into his pocket.

Juda:               The paper too, if it falls into the wrong hands I might get into serious trouble.

Twenty:           Of course Juda.  Of course.

Twenty hands the paper back, Juda salutes Twenty, then both men exit in different directions.  Twenty’s walk is dejected.

Scene 2

A stage with two sofas and a side table with a telephone on it.  Enter His Excellency, Poka Oka Ndiseng.  An elderly man in his sixties, he is dressed in a jogger short, old fashioned vest, and carries a golf club.  He heads for the telephone, takes it and quickly dials.

Ndiseng :        ( Into the telephone) Twenty?  Can I please see you, thank you.

Enter Twenty, still in suit and tie. He is Ndiseng’s personal advisor.   He bows before  Ndiseng.

Twenty:           Your Excellency.

Ndiseng:         (Pointing at one of the sofa’s)  You may sit.

Twenty sits down on the sofa, but on the edge.  His right foot is beating a rapid tattoo on the floor. Ndiseng looks at this foot.

Ndiseng:         Relax, Twenty.

Twenty’s foot stops tapping, and he wipes his forehead with a hanky.

Twenty:           Mmh!

Ndiseng:         Just relax, Twenty. And why do you look as if somebody has just walked over your grave? Just look at you!

Twenty:           Your Excellency. Things are very bad outside,

Ndiseng:         (Points a warning finger at Twenty) Eh! Eh! Eh! What am I always telling you Twenty?

Twenty:           But this is the truth your Excellency!

Ndiseng:         Please don’t exaggerate.

Twenty:           I am not exaggerating!

Ndiseng:         Do you know your problem my dear comrade? You panic very easily Twenty, just like a cowardly dog. (Ndiseng mimes action of a dog barking) WOOF! WOOF! WOOF behind a fence, and if you pretend to pick up a stone it flees away with its tail tucked between its legs.  I don’t need women around me Twenty. I need men with balls of steel.

Twenty:           I am not panicking your Excellency, Comrade Ndiseng.

Twenty wipes his forehead with his hanky again.

Ndiseng:         Then why are you are sweating like that? Or maybe you have forgotten yourself and you think state house is a bush in the rural areas and you are squatting behind it defecating?

Twenty:           The ballot counting is almost finished your Excellency, there are only five ballot boxes left uncounted, and the opposition is leading us by a very wide margin.

Ndiseng:         Is that so?  Of course I didn’t know that. And thanks for the information. If you are telling the truth, then we must clap hands for them.

(He leans the golf club against the sofa and claps his hands, a wide grin on his face)

They really are trying aren’t they?  Bravo!

(He claps his hands again.)

And by how many voters are they leading us now, Twenty?

Twenty:           Three million votes so far your Excellency, and the remaining five ballot boxes only contain one million.  We have lost.  Everything is crashing down on us!

Ndiseng:         (Bursts out laughing) Ha! Ha!  Ha!

(Still laughing, he points a finger at Twenty)

And you are now shitting in your underwear!

(Makes noise of farting)

Bhu!

(He laughs again, then smiles)

Stop being paranoid my dear personal advisor.

(His voice hardens)

And to use your own words – it is you who will crash out of my elite team if you do not show strength.  Anyway, why should you be frightened of the election results if I may ask?  After all, it is not you who is losing, but me, Cyclone Ndiseng, to use my favourite guerrilla name.

(pause)

Or is it because you see your meal ticket vanishing should that happen?

Twenty:           It is not like that your Excellency -!

Ndiseng:         Let me tell you something for nothing Twenty.  This is not a children’s game we are playing here.  This is not dance around together in a sally weather tissue tissue we all fall down.

(He swings his hands in mime of a children’s dance as he says this)

It is a game of heroes.  Men who are larger than life.  Now, tell me my terrified friend, did you read comic books when you were growing `up?

Twenty:           (Perking up)Yes I read them your Excellency. Kid Colt, Spiderman, Superman, Tin Tin)

Ndiseng waves his hand at Twenty in dismissal

Ndiseng:         No, not that crap.  There is another one that you have left out.  My favourite.

Twenty:           You mean Wonder Woman?

Ndiseng:         No, not that lesbian.

(He suddenly flexes his muscles, his face twists in effort)

The Incredible Hulk!  You!

Twenty:           (Smiling)  The Incredible Hulk!  I love that one!  He is my hero!

Ndiseng:         I am the new Incredible Hulk of this continent Twenty.

(He whispers to Twenty, his face screwed up in excitement, and his fists bunched)

And do you know why?

Twenty:           (Shaking his head and whispering also) Why, your Excellency?

Ndiseng:         Because I am going to be the first president of the United States Of Africa of course!  And that day is around the corner.  Just mark my words.

He suddenly flexes his muscles, and roars like Hulk.

Ndiseng:         The Incredible Hulk!

He roars like Hulk again, grabs Twenty and trips him to the ground.  Twenty rises up, exhibiting signs of fear.  Ndiseng roars, grabs Twenty and trips him to the ground again.  Twenty lies on the ground, and Ndiseng struts around the stage roaring like The Incredible Hulk, and flexing his arm muscles.  He goes back to Twenty, who still lies on the ground.  Twenty cringes back in fear.

Ndiseng.         (Offering Twenty his hand and laughing) Get up Comrade Minister!  Get up! Woooo! You look so undignified lying on the floor like that.

Twenty:           I am scared of  Hulk, your Excellency.  He is so powerful!

Twenty takes the offered hand and rises to his feet.  He brushes himself down, then sits down on the sofa again..

Ndiseng:         That is the lesson Twenty. Never worry, nobody can defeat the Incredible Poka Oka Ndiseng, blood descendant of the great King Oka Ndiseng 1, slayer of lions, conqueror of mountains, who smiled and the moon melted and beautiful maidens swooned.  Who can defeat such a man Twenty?  They can’t, not even with all the assistance of their fucking Nagasaki bomb, but, this is not what I called you in here for.

Twenty:           Yes your Excellency.

Ndiseng:         I want you to go and write a speech for me.

Occasional Kubatana blogger Fungai Machirori recently posted a very interesting comment on a health listserv in response to an online conversation about who should take responsibility for HIV prevention. I kind of thought it was a no-brainer. Individuals should of course. But then again there are men involved and condoms and men in general go together like Mugabe and Democracy.

Here’s Fungai for you:

Ensuring power to every “i” Fungai Machirori

Last year, South Africa developed a remarkable graphic to accompany its World AIDS Day campaign message: a graphic consisting entirely of a myriad letter “i”s that together made up the shape of South Africa’s map.

The tagline that accompanied the graphic read “I am responsible. We are responsible. South Africa is taking responsibility.”

What each of those little “i”s stood for was a South African; an individual taking responsibility for adopting health-promoting behaviours that would ultimately yield the collective national responsibility needed for an effective response to the urgency of HIV and AIDS.

I give this example because I feel it is particularly relevant to the topic at hand – whose responsibility it is to prevent HIV.

I believe that only once every individual is able to identify himself or herself as that “i” with the highest levels of self-efficacy, or confidence in one’s own ability to take responsible action, can we realise a significant change to the emergency that is the HIV and AIDS pandemic.

Building that self-efficacy encompasses creating a range of competences, from the basic ability to understand what HIV and AIDS are, to comprehending the implications of HIV infection or re-infection, as well as the benefits of preventing such infection, all the way to being able to overcome the many barriers that may exist as impediments to positive behaviour change.

Make no mistake, this is no easy process. Because we are all individuals of differing backgrounds and circumstances, our competencies, and the rates at which these can be developed will differ.

What levels of self-efficacy will a 16-year-old girl given to her sister’s widow as a replacement wife (knowing well that her sister died of a long and mysterious illness) have to demand an HIV test even if she knows about the virus and its effects, but is bound, by family tradition, to become this man’s wife without questioning?

What self-efficacy can a baby, still in his mother’s womb, speak of if his mother never receives antenatal services and does not discover her own positive HIV status until after her baby is born and already infected?

How then do we ensure power to every “i”?

A blanket approach to HIV and AIDS programming is definitely not the right way. Insensitive messaging that fails to take into consideration that we are all at different levels of literacy, understanding and openness about the collective and individual impact of the pandemic is more detrimental than helpful as it only achieves the churning out of impersonal, and therefore, inaccessible content.

Some people still just need to hear the basics – what HIV is, how it brings on AIDS, how it is transmitted and how it is prevented.

And messages and programmes for these individuals need to be tailored in an attractive, interactive fashion that eliminates pedagogy by welcoming debate, discussion and personal negotiation.

Also, we need to stop thinking only in conventional formats because quite honestly, far too many of the information-rich booklets and CD-ROMs dished out generously by well-meaning organisations are NOT being read or utilised.

I remember looking on in horror as a neighbour used the pages of an HIV prevention book I had given him to get a fire going in his backyard.

Noticing my anguish, he apologised but told me that there was no other practical use for the book beyond the one he had found.

“Thankfully, I have toilet paper,” he joked.

I went away wondering how many other people might feel this way about Information and Education Communication (IEC) materials that they feel have no resonance with them.

We need to be doing things differently, dynamically and determinedly all the time within an environment that is constantly changing, but at the same time staying very much the same.

Also, we need to think creatively about how to overcome the many socio-cultural and economic barriers to information dissemination and knowledge assimilation; how to jump over those internal walls that cement ideas within people’s minds that saying “not yet” or demanding a condom during sex is taboo and unforgivable; how to ensure that we are catering to communities and societies and individuals at their points of need, and not at the points that we estimate on their behalf; how to be relevant.

In short, how do we ensure that when an individual makes a decision that can have an impact on the state of their health, he or she is fully equipped with the artillery of internalised practical and practicable information?

At the same time as we seek to answer this question, we must focus attention on the dire need to strengthen our HIV service delivery systems to the point where people can access the different prevention, treatment, care and support packages that they require in an efficient, effective and professional(in terms of the health service providers) manner.

Our role as programmers, advocates, researchers and role models is two-fold: firstly, we must take personal responsibility for our own behaviours ensuring that they are positive and health-promoting.

Too many jokes abound about how any workshop that involves HIV programmers and advocates degenerates, after hours, into a ‘sex shop’.

This is the unfortunate badge of embarrassment that many associate our sector with, particularly as it identifies us as obvious hypocrites who subscribe to the mantra, “Do as I say, not as I do.”

Only once we are right in our own ways can we strike a cord with our audiences so that we may pass the mantle of responsibility on to them, to capacitate them to answer emphatically, whenever asked whose responsibility it is to prevent HIV, that indeed it is “i”.

Imagine if we could draw out a map, not just of South Africa, but of every nation in our region from the pledge made by every “i”, every person putting their hand up to say, “I am responsible to prevent HIV”.

This map would certainly mark the beginnings of a new Africa.