I’ve never aspired to be a politician. I’m too sensitive, couldn’t handle large numbers of people voting against me and polls tallying whether or not the people like me. I don’t have the stamina for shady systemic webs of bureaucracy and patronage. I know very little about fighting an unjust war or how to name commissions and operations. Recent efforts to keep up with pressing political on-goings such as, the opening of Parliament in Zimbabwe and Sarah Palin, Governor of Alaska/Republican Vice Presidential candidate, have made me rethink what makes one suited for politics. I’m thinking it all has to do with having the appropriate office décor.

It wouldn’t be so bad as Speaker of Zimbabwean Parliament because the big white chair the speaker sits in looks quite comfortable. But, I’d be afraid to put my head back out of fear that the tips of the ivory horns would gouge the back of my skull and the resulting blood would stain the nice white chair. The clear glass podium would stress me out; all of Parliament could see if my socks had a hole or if they were mismatched.

I most certainly couldn’t be Governor of Alaska/Republican Vice Presidential Candidate. I’ve never shot a bear three times the size of me, or any bear for that matter. I’ve never even shot a gun nor would I ever think of shooting a gun, except the kind that squirts water. And I’d prefer to have a blanket draped over the back of my couch not a bear. In my book, king crabs ought to be either a meal or left alone in the sea. I don’t understand a king crab as a paper weight on a coffee table.

What is it with politicians and their grandiose office décor? Isn’t it enough their power hungry mindsets? Do they really need to exude and flaunt that power through their office décor? Just as more politicians who can cry and show compassion are needed world over, I think it would be nice to have politicians who use chairs, blankets, and paper weights more in tune with the realities of everyday people.

Arthur Mutambara’s interview with Geraldine Doogue almost passed me by until thousands of miles away sitting in a lonely hotel room sans TV; l went onto the Kubatana website for news of home and came across the extract from his interview. I read with shock his responses to the interviewer. I have always spoken about the need for a different kind of politics in Zimbabwe. Zimbabweans deserve politicians who respond to issues without resorting to the use vitriol, who speak without arrogance and who interact with the outside world in the dignified manner befitting their positions as heads or potential heads of state. MDC-M have sold Mutambara as the kind of leader Zimbabweans would be proud to have. His supposed intellect has been touted as holding the key to our success as a nation, but his utterances on ABC radio have for me dealt a mortal blow to these pretensions. His emotional outburst was for me, reminiscent of Mugabe’s infamous Sharm El Sheik incident, when he almost engaged in fisticuffs with one pesky journalist, as he charged “you idiot! You bloody idiot!”

The interviewer started by reading a summary from the Guardian in which Mutambara was referred to as a “shameless opportunist who has appeared to be currying favour with his former enemies” and asked him to respond. He of course denied this accusation. The interviewer then asked whether all the papers which had made similar assertions had got it wrong. This is when the interview went haywire. Mutambara responded by saying, “because they are stupid, they are very stupid”. Mutambara should have stuck to explaining why the papers have got it wrong in suspecting him of cutting deals with the devil. For MDC-M’s information, a lot of Zimbabweans are just as suspicious of him and his role in our crisis. The concern is not necessarily that MDC-M will cut a “bilateral deal from a three-party negotiations framework”- the concern is more about what clandestine clock and dagger deals he has been making outside of the framework. Deals for instance where MDC-M and ZANU PF sponsor the same candidate to run for the seat of the Speaker of the House of Assembly. That is the suspicion and fear. So no, one does not have to be “foolish” or “sick in the mind” to worry about these things happening.

And so to the next issue- the interviewer next asks about transfer of executive power of executive power from the President to Tsvangirai and this is when Mutambara totally loses the plot. After stating that there are some things he cannot discuss in the media, he goes totally ballistic. “Who are you? How dare you undermine our intelligence, how dare you are so racist to the extent that you can’t guarantee us….” (sic). The interviewer tries to interject, presumably to stop the tirade and Mutambara charges “you are collectively stupid!” “Collective foolishness!”  The interviewer again tries to stem the flow of vitriol but Mutambara hasn’t finished displaying his intelligence. In his wisdom, the imposition of sanctions while the parties are talking is a travesty of justice. Instead, people should have confidence in Tsvangirai, Mutambara and worse, Mugabe. Really Mr. Mutambara? And this is the brilliant rocket scientist? What about Mugabe’s conduct is supposed to inspire our confidence? The brutal murder of over a hundred perceived political opponents? How about driving 4 million of his people into exile? Oh and let’s not forget reducing the country into a pariah state? Should that inspire our confidence Mr. Mutambara?

The interviewer again tries to put Mutambara back on track and wonders whether the opposition could be walking into the same trap as Nkomo in the 80s. This question unleashes the Neanderthal in Mutambara-literally beating his chest he attacks the interviewer for daring to impugn his intelligence. His response is a cross between caveman and Mugabe. “Do you think I’m stupid? He charges. His pride offended. In a Mugabeesque turn he then goes on to claim “we are smarter than Australians, we are smarter than the Americans, we went to better schools than most of these leaders in America, in Britain and in Australia” He finishes by triumphantly crowing “I am coming out of Oxford! None of your Prime Ministers can challenge me intellectually”.

There goes the paradox. Mr. Mugabe and Mr. Mutambara should sit down and compare notes. They both display an identity crisis of Freudian proportion. The very thing they crave (acceptance by the West) is the thing they loathe (or at least purport to). In one breath the intelligent Prof pours scorn on the Americans, the British and the Australians and in the next breath he crows about his quality education at that quintessentially English Institution-Oxford. The standard by which he measures his intellect is a British standard. The irony is lost on the intelligent Prof.  If l were him l would not crow about my supposed intelligence for two reasons; firstly, when you talk about your intelligence but everything you say or do points at the opposite then there is a problem. If l were Geraldine, l would have pointed out that for all their collective intelligence, the three men are still fiddling while the country burns and for all their supposed stupidity and foolishness, the Aussies are still able to feed their country without begging for alms.

But that is beside the point. I started off by saying that we need politicians of a different calibre. People who are of sane and sober senses. Level-headed people who are not shaken by a few unfiltered questions from shrewd journalists. Leaders who do not go ballistic at the first challenge that comes their way. We want leaders who do not have an over-inflated sense of their own importance or indeed their own intelligence. We want humble leaders who are willing to listen to criticism however harsh, because they know they cannot have all the answers. We want compassionate leaders who are pained when their people suffer. “Intelligent” leaders who have eight degrees have brought our country to its knees. “Intelligent” men, who hold PhDs (honorary and earned) have decided that it is better to use scarce foreign currency buying commodities to distribute to the populace at sub-economic prices rather than invest in the country’s production capacity. Intelligent men have turned the Reserve Bank into an Agro Equipment wholesale. “Intelligent” leaders who believe that out of a country of 12 million people only one person has the brains to lead this country have presided over the disaster that is now Zimbabwe. Frankly l have had enough of men who think they are intelligent.

Life in general has always been a struggle requiring one to work hard for everything – from food to clothing. Now the situation has worsened. One works so hard but come the end of the month, the money is not easily accessible. With the withdrawal limit currently at $500 a day (only enough for a loaf of bread), one has to be geared up to go to the bank every day of the week to be able to buy something meaningful.

Everything has become so expensive and salaries fall short. Most of the basic commodities are being sold in foreign currency on the black market yet the majority of employees are paid in Zimbabwe dollars. What concerns me most is the way we all seem to be going about our business as if everything is normal. Nobody seems to question or challenge the way life has become in our country.

A few days ago I had one experience that got me thinking it is time something is done to improve the Zimbabwe situation . . . I took a trip to the doctor with my Medical Aid card for a Medical Certificate only to be told that they no longer accept Medical Aid cards. Instead the majority of surgeries I visited asked for a US$20 fee. I had to no choice but to return home and forget about the application. Surely if scholarships are for the less privileged, minor processes such as attaining a Medical Certificate should not be prohibitive.

A few months back I was so convinced some good economic recovery plan was on the way when I heard of the signing of the Memorandum of Understanding and Power Sharing Talks. Now weeks have gone by and still there is no official position or detail on proceedings during the ‘Talks’. If these ‘Talks’ are being done for the people Zimbabwean citizens certainly deserve to know what is really going on from the officials themselves.

Sometimes I wish these leaders engaged in Talks would consider that whilst they are ‘dragging’ their feet in sealing a deal, people are dying every day. The health delivery system has deteriorated and drugs are not easily accessible. Some people are resorting to purchasing drugs from neighboring countries like South Africa while the majority of the disadvantaged Zimbabweans have no choice but to keep on hoping that life in Zimbabwe will improve before their souls give in.

Despite the numerous challenges that we are facing there seems to be a little hope in me that somehow Zimbabwe will rise again. This is my only sense of comfort. It may take time but our resilient spirit will see us through.

I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with Eddie Cross. Much of the time I find his optimism entirely frustrating. However this week he lays bare the litany of abuse that Zimbabwe is experiencing courtesy of Mugabe and his cabal and reminds us that “what we need is not power sharing – that is the least of our worries, its simply a government that will work and start to get the country stable and onto the pathway to recovery.” Read Eddie’s article below . . .

All the debates taking place regarding the SADC sponsored talks to bring about an agreement to resolve the crisis in Zimbabwe center on the issue of political power. In fact that may be the most important issue to some, but its not the main issue at all. The main point of the talks is to secure a workable solution to our economic, political and social crisis.

The basic facts that underlie the crisis is that we have a military Junta running the country that cannot be overthrown by violence or armed insurrection, the political leadership has lost control of the State to this Junta and is now totally discredited, was in fact defeated at the last election but refuses to leave office, spurred on by the Junta.

The regime has totally mismanaged the economy and now it teeters on the edge of disintegration and collapse. This morning the RTGS rate for the local currency was hovering about 5000 to 1USD. This dramatic collapse in a few days points to a number of other forces at work – the flight of capital, the reckless creation of money by the Reserve Bank and the severe shortage of cash with which to make daily transactions.

The collapse of the dollar by 700 per cent since the new currency was issued a month ago, means that while there might have been enough cash to meet needs at that time, the availability of cash notes has simply been decimated by inflation – I would guess that we probably only have the equivalent of US$5 million in cash in circulation in new notes – a drop in the ocean when we probably need US$3 billion. When you think that the new currency cost us Euro 35 million to print – now it has a face value of only US$5 million and next week probably half that again.

Our economy is literally teetering on the edge of collapse – the major retail stores are empty and unable to finance their operations. Parastatals cannot pay their staff let alone other costs. The urban councils are without fuel, chemicals, spares and tyres for vehicles. Their administrations are no longer able to produce accounts or manage their finances. The basic needs of life are not available or unaffordable – the great majority of the population is seriously considering flight to the nearest country they can go to under any conditions.

The government must be in dire straights – they can create money by simply passing credits from the Reserve Bank to local financial institutions that will then pay out salaries to the civil service and the armed forces – if they can get in the door of a bank and then along a queue perhaps 500 to a
1000 people long. When they get there they are paid out in small amounts
(maximum Z$500 worth US10 cents today) and in coins, old bank notes and bearer bonds.

The parallel market – always an immediate and accurate indicator of real market conditions will no longer accept the old currencies for their deals – only the new notes and these are now as scarce as hen’s teeth. In December the regime is committed to withdrawing the old notes from circulation – and then what? No wonder Gono wants to retire when his contract comes up for renewal in November.

And then there is the social and humanitarian crisis. Half our population has no food and no means of earning a living. They must be given their entire requirements for survival. Our hospitals and clinics are run down and dirty, they have no drugs and no blankets and few staff. If you are admitted to a State run facility you must provide everything you need, even food and any medical supplies you might require.

Our State run schools have just opened – 70 000 teachers short of their establishment. Hostels have no food, students no books or writing materials. Teachers cannot even pay for transport to school. Buildings are dilapidated and in most school rooms there are no lights. Children come to school hungry and cannot study because they simply do not get enough food at home.

I was at a meeting of our City Council yesterday – the head of the Cities medical services told us she couldn’t dig graves fast enough to bury the dead. She said they could not get labour to clean the streets or handle waste or dig graves. This situation is repeated across the whole country – the City Engineer said they have 4 days chlorine left in stock, after that, we drink unpurified water, 1,3 million people at risk.

We have the shortest life expectancy in the world, the highest ratio of orphans to population in the world, staggering infant and maternal mortality rates. In a country where we once had one of the fastest growing populations in the world – our death rates from all causes is now so high that our population is shrinking rapidly. In line with this, our economy has also shrunk – every year since 1998 and will decline again this year by at least 10 per cent.

So what we need is not power sharing – that is the least of our worries, its simply a government that will work and start to get the country stable and onto the pathway to recovery. For that we need the following: -

A return to a democratic government that is accountable to the people.

New leadership that is honest, capable and caring.

A government team that will work together and put the country first.

A basic agreement to bring about these conditions that is acceptable to our development partners who are essential to the stabilisation and recovery process.

Today the SADC leadership is in Lusaka at the funeral of the late President of Zambia. Mbeki will almost certainly use this occasion to get a consensus on what is the next step in the SADC/Zimbabwe process. He then travels to Harare to hold talks with the three principals and will try to get agreement on a final deal. Any agreement that does not meet the simple criteria listed above will simply not work. It will not be worth the paper it is written on. Mbeki must know this; it may not be acceptable to the Mugabe group or to Mutambara but it is the only way forward.

I am happy I cried
A man needs tears
Without tears, he is incomplete
~ From When a man cries, Siphiwo Mahala

Ezra Chitando, Professor of Religious Studies at the University of Zimbabwe, is looking for Zimbabewan male leaders who can cry. He was speaking at a discussion on leadership and masculinities in Shimmer Chinodya’s Strife, published by Weaver Press. Chitando made a plea for leaders who can look at the desperation facing Zimbabweans today – the poverty, the queues, the hunger and collapsed health care system – and feel compassion.

Where the male characters of Strife fall short, argued Chitando, so might one observe other male leaders in society falling short. “Zimbabwe’s collective failure of leadership is perhaps an outworking of exhausted patriarchy,” he said. “Men have not been effective leaders – of families, extended families or of nations.”

Read and listen to more of the discussion with Chitando and lawyer Nokuthula Moyo here